.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
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WOMAN AT THE WELL - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:       salvation, eternal security
SCRIPTURE:   John 4:4-30, 7:37-39; Rev.21:6, 22:17;
.            Is.55:1
Style:       satire/spoof on Oprah Show:  Oda interviews
.            the woman from the well about her
.            encounter with Jesus
Cast:        WOMAN, ODA
Set & Props: 2 chairs


(Like a talk-show, ODA walks on getting the congregation
to clap with her.)

ODA    Weeeee’re ba-ack.  We-are-back with the Oda Show.
.      Our next guest, has a very extraordinary story,
.      and comes all the way from Sychar, Samaria.
.      Please, help me welcome, the Woman at the Well.

(ODA gets the congregation clapping again.
WOMAN enters, and ODA motions for her to sit.)

WOMAN  I can’t believe I’m actually here.
.      There’s something that happened to me
.      that I just want to share with everyone,
.      and – what better way to do it!

ODA    Thank you.  That’s so sweet.  Thank you.
.      Well then, why don’t you go on –
.      start from the beginning.

WOMAN  I went to Jacob’s Well to fill up
.      my water urns –

ODA    So – it was just like any ordinary day.

WOMAN  Yes.  And when I got there, this man,
.      a Jewish Man, was there at the well, resting.

ODA    How? – let me just ask you if you don’t mind –
.      how did you know He was Jewish?

WOMAN  Oh, trust me, I know the difference.
.      Their speak with a slightly different accent.

ODA    Okay. Okay. And then what?
.                                                       2
WOMAN  Well, He looked at me and kindly asked me
.      for a drink.

ODA    Now tell us, what was so amazing about this?

WOMAN  Because, I am – a Samaritan.  Really.
.      I’m a half-breed.  And most Jews
.      usually have NOTHING to do with Samaritans.

ODA    Woooowww.  Really.  Really!  I am shocked.
.      You mean to say, he was NOT racist at all?

WOMAN  Not one bit.

ODA    Not at allll?  Wow.  And, what’s even
.      more surprising is the fact –
.      that He spoke to YOU – a WO-MAAAN!!!
.      Incredible. Incredible!  And forget Jews,
.      this would be amazing in every culture.
.      Wow.  This Man is quite the barrier buster.
.      Please go on.  

WOMAN  So, He kindly asked me for a drink.
.      And I told Him that I was curious
.      why a Jewish man was asking
.      a Samaritan woman for a drink.

ODA    Oooo! You go, girl.

WOMAN  Oh yeah.  But then He said the oddest thing.
.      He told me that if I knew who was asking ME
.      for a drink, I would ask HIM for a drink.
.      And then He would give me living water.
.      It would be a gift of God.

ODA    I don’t understand what you’re saying.
.      He DID ask you for a drink because
.      he had nothing to get water with, right?

WOMAN  Yes! Thank you!  That’s what I pointed out.
.      So I asked Him where He got that living water?

ODA    Don’t keep us in the dark, girl,
.      tell us what He said.

WOMAN  That everyone who drinks this living water would
.      never thirst again AND would have eternal life.
.      I thought, great!  Give me some of this water so
.      I wouldn’t have drag water home every day.
.                                                       3
ODA    I DEFINITELY got to get me some of that water!

WOMAN  But He wasn’t talking about just water.
.      It is much more than that.

ODA    M-M-Mmm.  You didn’t think this guy
.      was pulling your leg?

WOMAN  I was, until He told me about things in my life.
.      Unless He knew me, he would never know
.      about these things.

ODA    What kind of things are we talking about?

WOMAN  About my living conditions and whom
.      I’ve all been with.

ODA    Woooowww!  Really!

WOMAN  So, not only was He a prophet, but turns out,
.      He is the Messiah - Jesus Christ.

ODA    Get out!  Get out of here!

WOMAN  And because of HIM, anybody, anywhere,
.      can come to worship Him and get living water,
.      which is salvation.  And it’s so exciting,
.      I just want to tell everyone.

ODA    Well, thank you. Thank you for that.
.      I would say, this has been the most
.      informative show ever.  Thanks again.  Truly.
.      (to congregation)  And thank you for joining us,
.       everyone.  Thanks for watching.

(ODA and WOMAN clap and wave as they walk off.)