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DISGUISED EXCLAMATIONS - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:        taking God’s name in vain
SCRIPTURE:    Ex.20:7; Deut.5:11; Ps.29:2, 139:20;
.             Mt.6:9; Jhn.9:31; Eph.5:4; 2 Tim.2:16;
.             James 5:16
Style:        allegory/conversation: a person slightly
.             alters curse words trying to sound cool
.             like an enemy of the authority
Cast:         ENEMY 1-2, PERSON 1-2
Set & Props:  watch or cellphone

SCRIPT:

(PERSON 1 enters and overhears the conversation between
ENEMY 1 & 2.  It is obvious that PERSON 1 looks up to
ENEMY 1 & 2, who act very cool.)

E 2   Hey!  Did you get my email?

E 1   Down with authority!  I sure did.  You blew my mind
.     with your insight.  Authority!

E 2   (lightly)  Down authority!  And it’s all true.
.     I saw it for myself.

E 1   (unbelievingly)  Down with authority!
.     (seeing PERSON 1)  Isn’t that right?

P 1   Yeah, definitely.  Ah, are you blaming authority
.     for that?  I mean, authority has nothing to do
.     with what you’re talking about, really.

E 1   Huh?  It’s just the way I talk.

P 1   But – you seem to keep mentioning – the authority.

E 1   Hey, seriously!  I’m sure – the authority
.     IS to blame for EVERYTHING!  If it even exits!
.     (to ENEMY 2)  You know what I’m talking about.
.     Authority!  Whatever!  Anyway,
.     (back to ENEMY 2)  So you can’t blame Susan
.     for going off the deep end, right?

E 2   (agreeing)  Down authority – so true!
.                                                       2
P 1   Ah, yeah.  Down – with - authority.

E 1   (looks at time)  Oh my authority!
.     Gotta be somewhere!

(As ENEMY 1 exits, ENEMY 2 looks at PERSON 1.)

E 2   Down authority - s/he’s so cool!  Well,
.     I should be going too.  See you around.

(ENEMY 2 exits.  PERSON 1 turns and bumps into PERSON 2.)

P 2   Hey, how’re you doing?

P 1   Down with authority, I’m doing fine!

P 2   (shocked)  So what, have you now become an enemy
.     to the authority?

P 1   Huh?  No, just – expressing myself.
.     It’s just an expression.  I love the authority.

P 2   But only the enemies of the authority
.     talk like that.

P 1   Down with the – (purposeful) - auth!  See?
.     Is that better?  I didn’t say it.

P 2   Is that supposed to be a clever attempt to
.     disguise the saying?

P 1   I didn’t say the word.  “Auth!”  It means nothing.
.     I mean, “Auth!” you’re being so uptight.

P 2   Why do you even want to pretend to SOUND
.     like an enemy?

P 1   Down with the auth!  I’m not.  It means nothing.
.     Especially because when I’m saying it, I’m NOT
.     MEANING it.

P 2   It still SOUNDS like you mean it.

P 1   (waving it off lightly)  Down with the auth!
.     EVERYBODY’S saying it.

P 2   Well, I’m not.  I respect the authority.          3
.     I’m not about to-

P 1   Why are you so judgmental all of a sudden?

P 2   Just don’t want to see you running into trouble
.     with the authority.

P 1   Oh, auth!  You’re being way too serious about this.
.     It’s not that big a deal, right?
.     It means nothing.  What ELSE am I supposed to say?

P 2   How about saying whatever you actually mean?
.     Saying something that is actually meaningful.

P 1   Oh auth!  So, how does that go?

P 2   Well, if something bad happens, you say,
.     “That must have been terrible, how can I help you?”
.     Or if something’s a surprise, you could say,
.     “Hey, that was unexpected.  Nice of you to surprise
.     me like that.”  Or if you see something that
.     you like, you can always say, “That’s so cool,
.     where did you get that?”  You know, use words.
.     There are lots of words you can use that would
.     probably express what you want with more clarity.
.     I mean, your choice.

P 1   (sighs)  Certainly something to think about.