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YOUR WORTH ASSESSED - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: a worthy life, salvation is a gift
SCRIPTURE: Matt.19;21, Gal.4:9, Eph.2:8-9,
. 1 Thess.2:12, Titus 1:16, James 5:2-3
Style: allegory/spoof of how a financial investor
. might assess one's life based on
. God's involvement
Cast: AGENT, COUPLES 1, 2, 3
Set & Props: 3 chairs, clipboard & pen, papers,
. receipts, folder of receipts,
. calculator, desk optional
(AGENT enters from one side, and motions to other side
for COUPLE 1 to enter. They shake hands and sit down.)
AGENT So, you are here to have your
. life’s worth assessed?
MAN 1 Yes we are!
LADY 1 We are ready with all our receipts and lists.
(LADY 1 hands over a large accordion file folder stuffed
AGENT Good-good, then let us begin, shall we.
. What do you all have?
LADY 1 Aren’t you going to look at those?
AGENT Not necessary. Go ahead.
(AGENT writes as COUPLE lists off all of their things.)
MAN 1 Oh! All right. Ah, where to begin?
AGENT How about the big things.
MAN 1 Good idea. Besides the investment portfolio,
. we have a 5 bedroom house - mansion - really,
. up on Nose Hill.
LADY 1 The BEST location.
MAN 1 With a pool, hot tub –
LADY 1 I just had an award winning designer landscape
. our entire yard. As well, a world-renowned
. interior decorator keeps us up-to-date.
MAN 1 We have the biggest, best SUVs, and
. the sleekest convertible sports car.
LADY 1 Let’s not forget the cabin at the lake, dear.
MAN 1 And the boats. A 30 foot sailboat,
. and a speedboat. The jet skis,
. and the dirt bikes –
LADY 1 Men and their toys!
MAN 1 Which would include all our high-definition
. and high-end, high tech electronics.
LADY 1 All of my jewelry adds up to a pretty sum, too.
. And our designer clothes. Nothing but
. the very best for us.
AGENT (a little confused) Okay, but what
. about yourselves. Don’t you invest
. anything on yourselves?
MAN 1 Of course. It’s all for ourselves. But,
. oh, yes, we were educated at the best schools.
. And we are both at the top of our careers,
. and very successful.
LADY 1 Oh, I think what he means, dear, is –
. what do we spend on ourselves.
. (to AGENT) In between all our hard work,
. we do like to pamper ourselves at
. shi-shi restaurants, and health spas
. around the world. Our personal trainers
. see to it that we are in optimum shape.
MAN 1 Definitely. AND don’t forget, we have the best
. plastic surgeons nip and tuck us all over
. the place. As you can see, my wife is
. stunningly perfect. Flawless!
LADY 1 Why, thank you, dear. You too.
AGENT So... that’s it?
MAN 1 What do you mean – that’s it?!
LADY 1 Of course that’s it. What else is there?
(AGENT uses the calculator then looks up.)
AGENT Your life’s worth comes to three and a half
. million dollars.
MAN 1 Wonderful!
(COUPLE 1 lightly high-fives.)
LADY 1 Well done, dear! Although, we can always
. do a bit better.
MAN 1 Of course, one never stops acquiring
. and investing!
(COUPLE 1 gets up and shakes AGENT’S hand to leave.
LADY 1 grabs the folder of receipts before leaving.
As COUPLE 2 enters, COUPLE 1 snickers to each other.)
MAN 1 There’s no way they are worth as much as us.
LADY 1 I’m curious, though.
(COUPLE 1 lingers in the background eavesdropping
as COUPLE 2 shakes hands with the AGENT and sits down.)
MAN 2 We would like to have our life’s worth assessed.
LADY 2 We are very curious to know if we are on
. the right track. We are pretty sure, though.
AGENT All right then, why don’t you start then.
. Tell me what you all have in your lives.
(MAN 2 hands over a handful of receipts.)
MAN 2 Well, I provide for my family. Make sure
. that they have everything they need.
LADY 2 He is a very good provider.
(COUPLE 1 snickers in the background.)
MAN 2 And my wife does a lot to make our house
. a home.
LADY 2 I feel it’s very important that everyone is
. civil to each other... that we all get along.
MAN 2 As well, we put a high priority to serve
. in our Community, and give very generously
. to all sorts of charities.
LADY 2 Yes, not just money, but also our time.
AGENT That’s very admirable.
(COUPLE 1 balk at this.)
AGENT Anything else?
MAN 2 Ahhh, no, that’s it.
LADY 2 I mean, how much more can one do?
(AGENT uses the calculator and looks up.)
AGENT Your estimated value of your life’s worth
. is seven million.
(AGENT hands the receipts back to COUPLE 2,
who are very pleased with this, but COUPLE 1
is shocked and angry.)
LADY 1 What!!!
MAN 1 No-no-no- that can’t be!
LADY 1 We want a recount.
(MAN 1 grabs the receipts out of LADY 2’s hands and
goes through them, as COUPLE 3 pass right by the group.
COUPLE 3 shake the AGENT’S hand and sits down.)
AGENT You are here to have your life’s worth assessed?
MAN 3 We are.
AGENT Go ahead.
MAN 3 Well, both my wife and I, as well as all
. our children, have become Christians.
. We have put our faith in God, and have
. given everything we have - to God.
(COUPLES 1 and 2 both stop and balk. 5
MAN 1 nudges LADY 1 in pure disbelief.)
LADY 3 We totally trust that God will provide
. for all our needs.
MAN 2 Ha! So you don’t work?
LADY 2 You have NO money?
MAN 3 Ah, yes, we work, and we have - stuff.
. But in principle, whatever we have – is God’s.
MAN 1 How BIG is your income?
MAN 3 That’s really not what is important.
. Whatever we make – is all from God.
. And to show how thankful we are,
. and to praise God, we tithe to the church
. at least ten percent of all that we make.
LADY 3 And then as we are able, we give to
. other missionary organizations to help
. build God’s kingdom. As well, we serve God
. with our time, using the gifts
. that He has given us.
LADY 1 That’s absurd. How big is your shoe collection?
LADY 3 (shrugging) Life in moderation.
. I have a few – shoes. But having more shoes
. won’t make me happier.
MAN 3 Our joy is in the Lord.
LADY 3 And we have God’s love and forgiveness.
LADY 1 What about diamonds and pearls?
LADY 3 All that stuff is only temporary.
MAN 3 We’re not saying they aren’t beautiful,
. or anything. Some of that is okay.
. But it’s just not important.
LADY 1 Not important?
LADY 3 We prefer to store up our treasures in heaven.
. How much more precious is eternal life
. with God in heaven?
MAN 3 Eternal peace, eternal joy, eternal love
. with our Savior. It’s complete perfection.
LADY 1 But you don’t have perfect bodies.
LADY 3 Right now, our sins have been washed away.
. God sees us as perfect and holy. And
. as soon as we get to heaven, we will be given
. new and perfect, eternal bodies.
LADY 2 But you’ve done nothing to EARN that.
(AGENT uses the calculator and looks up.)
AGENT Your life’s worth is – priceless.
MAN 1 What does that mean?
AGENT I can’t even begin to add it up.
. There isn’t a number high enough.
MAN 1 That’s impossible.
MAN 3 It’s completely impossible - except through God.
LADY 2 But you haven’t done anything to EARN it!
MAN 1 Yes, you have to work around the clock!
LADY 1 Appearance is everything.
MAN 2 You just have to be a good person.
LADY 2 And do lots of good deeds.
MAN 3 All of that is worthless to God, unless God
. is in your heart. He only looks on the inside.
LADY 2 You cannot work your way into heaven.
. The only way is to accept God’s
. gift of eternal life.
AGENT (to congregation) And it is a priceless gift.
. Have you assessed your life lately?
. How much are you worth?