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YOUR WORTH ASSESSED - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:        a worthy life, salvation is a gift
SCRIPTURE:    Matt.19;21, Gal.4:9, Eph.2:8-9,
.             1 Thess.2:12, Titus 1:16, James 5:2-3
Style:        allegory/spoof of how a financial investor
.             might assess one's life based on
.             God's involvement
Cast:         AGENT, COUPLES 1, 2, 3
Set & Props:  3 chairs, clipboard & pen, papers,
.             receipts, folder of receipts,
.             calculator, desk optional

SCRIPT:

(AGENT enters from one side, and motions to other side
for COUPLE 1 to enter.  They shake hands and sit down.)

AGENT   So, you are here to have your
.       life’s worth assessed?

MAN 1   Yes we are!

LADY 1  We are ready with all our receipts and lists.

(LADY 1 hands over a large accordion file folder stuffed
with receipts)

AGENT   Good-good, then let us begin, shall we.
.       What do you all have?

LADY 1  Aren’t you going to look at those?

AGENT   Not necessary.  Go ahead.

(AGENT writes as COUPLE lists off all of their things.)

MAN 1   Oh!  All right.  Ah, where to begin?

AGENT   How about the big things.

MAN 1   Good idea.  Besides the investment portfolio,
.       we have a 5 bedroom house - mansion - really,
.       up on Nose Hill.

LADY 1  The BEST location.

MAN 1   With a pool, hot tub –
.                                                       2
LADY 1  I just had an award winning designer landscape
.       our entire yard.  As well, a world-renowned
.       interior decorator keeps us up-to-date.

MAN 1   We have the biggest, best SUVs, and
.       the sleekest convertible sports car.

LADY 1  Let’s not forget the cabin at the lake, dear.

MAN 1   And the boats.  A 30 foot sailboat,
.       and a speedboat.  The jet skis,
.       and the dirt bikes –

LADY 1  Men and their toys!

MAN 1   Which would include all our high-definition
.       and high-end, high tech electronics.

LADY 1  All of my jewelry adds up to a pretty sum, too.
.       And our designer clothes.  Nothing but
.       the very best for us.

AGENT   (a little confused)  Okay, but what
.       about yourselves.  Don’t you invest
.       anything on yourselves?

MAN 1   Of course.  It’s all for ourselves.  But,
.       oh, yes, we were educated at the best schools.
.       And we are both at the top of our careers,
.       and very successful.

LADY 1  Oh, I think what he means, dear, is –
.       what do we spend on ourselves.
.       (to AGENT)  In between all our hard work,
.       we do like to pamper ourselves at
.       shi-shi restaurants, and health spas
.       around the world.  Our personal trainers
.       see to it that we are in optimum shape.

MAN 1   Definitely.  AND don’t forget, we have the best
.       plastic surgeons nip and tuck us all over
.       the place.  As you can see, my wife is
.       stunningly perfect.  Flawless!

LADY 1  Why, thank you, dear.  You too.

AGENT   So... that’s it?

MAN 1   What do you mean – that’s it?!
.                                                       3
LADY 1  Of course that’s it.  What else is there?

AGENT   Okay.

(AGENT uses the calculator then looks up.)

AGENT   Your life’s worth comes to three and a half
.       million dollars.

MAN 1   Wonderful!

(COUPLE 1 lightly high-fives.)

LADY 1  Well done, dear!  Although, we can always
.       do a bit better.

MAN 1   Of course, one never stops acquiring
.       and investing!

(COUPLE 1 gets up and shakes AGENT’S hand to leave.
LADY 1 grabs the folder of receipts before leaving.
As COUPLE 2 enters, COUPLE 1 snickers to each other.)

MAN 1   There’s no way they are worth as much as us.

LADY 1  I’m curious, though.

(COUPLE 1 lingers in the background eavesdropping
as COUPLE 2 shakes hands with the AGENT and sits down.)

MAN 2   We would like to have our life’s worth assessed.

LADY 2  We are very curious to know if we are on
.       the right track.  We are pretty sure, though.

AGENT   All right then, why don’t you start then.
.       Tell me what you all have in your lives.

(MAN 2 hands over a handful of receipts.)

MAN 2   Well, I provide for my family.  Make sure
.       that they have everything they need.

LADY 2  He is a very good provider.

(COUPLE 1 snickers in the background.)

MAN 2   And my wife does a lot to make our house
.       a home.
.                                                       4
LADY 2  I feel it’s very important that everyone is
.       civil to each other... that we all get along.

MAN 2   As well, we put a high priority to serve
.       in our Community, and give very generously
.       to all sorts of charities.

LADY 2  Yes, not just money, but also our time.

AGENT   That’s very admirable.

(COUPLE 1 balk at this.)

AGENT   Anything else?

MAN 2   Ahhh, no, that’s it.

LADY 2  I mean, how much more can one do?

(AGENT uses the calculator and looks up.)

AGENT   Your estimated value of your life’s worth
.       is seven million.

(AGENT hands the receipts back to COUPLE 2,
who are very pleased with this, but COUPLE 1
is shocked and angry.)

LADY 1  What!!!

MAN 1   No-no-no- that can’t be!

LADY 1  We want a recount.

(MAN 1 grabs the receipts out of LADY 2’s hands and
goes through them, as COUPLE 3 pass right by the group.  
COUPLE 3 shake the AGENT’S hand and sits down.)

AGENT   You are here to have your life’s worth assessed?

MAN 3   We are.

AGENT   Go ahead.

MAN 3   Well, both my wife and I, as well as all
.       our children, have become Christians.
.       We have put our faith in God, and have
.       given everything we have - to God.

(COUPLES 1 and 2 both stop and balk.                    5
MAN 1 nudges LADY 1 in pure disbelief.)

LADY 3  We totally trust that God will provide
.       for all our needs.

MAN 2   Ha!  So you don’t work?

LADY 2  You have NO money?

MAN 3   Ah, yes, we work, and we have - stuff.
.       But in principle, whatever we have – is God’s.

MAN 1   How BIG is your income?

MAN 3   That’s really not what is important.
.       Whatever we make – is all from God.
.       And to show how thankful we are,
.       and to praise God, we tithe to the church
.       at least ten percent of all that we make.

LADY 3  And then as we are able, we give to
.       other missionary organizations to help
.       build God’s kingdom.  As well, we serve God
.       with our time, using the gifts
.       that He has given us.

LADY 1  That’s absurd.  How big is your shoe collection?

LADY 3  (shrugging)  Life in moderation.
.       I have a few – shoes.  But having more shoes
.       won’t make me happier.

MAN 3   Our joy is in the Lord.

LADY 3  And we have God’s love and forgiveness.

LADY 1  What about diamonds and pearls?

LADY 3  All that stuff is only temporary.

MAN 3   We’re not saying they aren’t beautiful,
.       or anything.  Some of that is okay.
.       But it’s just not important.

LADY 1  Not important?

LADY 3  We prefer to store up our treasures in heaven.
.       How much more precious is eternal life
.       with God in heaven?
.                                                       6
MAN 3   Eternal peace, eternal joy, eternal love
.       with our Savior.  It’s complete perfection.

LADY 1  But you don’t have perfect bodies.

LADY 3  Right now, our sins have been washed away.
.       God sees us as perfect and holy.  And
.       as soon as we get to heaven, we will be given
.       new and perfect, eternal bodies.

LADY 2  But you’ve done nothing to EARN that.

(AGENT uses the calculator and looks up.)

AGENT   Your life’s worth is – priceless.

MAN 1   What does that mean?

AGENT   I can’t even begin to add it up.
.       There isn’t a number high enough.

MAN 1   That’s impossible.

MAN 3   It’s completely impossible - except through God.

LADY 2  But you haven’t done anything to EARN it!

MAN 1   Yes, you have to work around the clock!

LADY 1  Appearance is everything.

MAN 2   You just have to be a good person.

LADY 2  And do lots of good deeds.

MAN 3   All of that is worthless to God, unless God
.       is in your heart.  He only looks on the inside.

LADY 2  You cannot work your way into heaven.
.       The only way is to accept God’s
.       gift of eternal life.

AGENT   (to congregation)  And it is a priceless gift.
.       Have you assessed your life lately?
.       How much are you worth?