. all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
. refer to www.church-skits.com
YOUR LOCAL NEWS - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: complacency to sin, the flood
SCRIPTURE: Genesis 6:1-22, Proverbs 1:32
Style: satire/spoof on news show: reports
. give us a unique feel as to how
. it was leading up to the flood.
Cast: ANCHOR, CO-ANCHOR, SPORTSCASTER,
. WEATHERMAN, NARRATOR
Set & Props: notes, world map or globe,
. set of a newsroom can be assumed,
. simplistic or extravagant as you want
(A news jingle can be played as actors
take their places. SPORTSCASTER to the left,
ANCHOR & CO-ANCHOR in the center,
and WEATHERMAN/WOMAN to the right.)
ANCHOR Good evening, I’m Dooms Day, and welcome to
. your local news. Today’s top news story –
. crime is up once again.
CO-A Is that even possible?
ANCHOR I guess it is. Men have been coming up
. with new ways to break into homes.
. If you are using rocks and boulders
. as a form of home security, be careful
. that they are not used against you.
CO-A I always find it helpful to send the kids out
. very quickly to retrieve the rocks before
. the perpetrators can get at them.
ANCHOR That is a good idea. Then, if
. something happens to the children –
CO-A You can always have more.
ANCHOR Or kidnap a few from a local town.
CO-A I also keep connections with
. a child slavery market, if you’re interested.
ANCHOR Thank you for that tip. And for more
. on combative violence, there are courses
. on offensive and defensive tactics
. being offered at a local tavern near you.
CO-A Is that a scam for an ambush like
. last time?
ANCHOR Not – that I know. And now for
. the local sports – Action Fan –
SPORTS Well, last night was the big game
. between the Giants and the Beasts.
. The game ended in bloody mayhem which
. included the players as well as the sports fans.
. In the end, the Giants came out on top with
. the fewest injuries and deaths:
. 7 points to 10 – a new record.
. Now back to our very favorite society pal,
. Good Times –
CO-A Thank you, Action Fan. This week,
. the big buzz amongst the elite has been
. the endless partying up at the Nephilim Palace.
. Everybody who’s anybody was invited,
. including such celebrities as Show Star
. and Easy Does It. Only the very
. finest beverages and narcotics were
. in abundance and constant supply –
. night and day. Anything goes,
. isn’t that right, Dooms Day?
ANCHOR Party on! And on that high note,
. let’s move on to the weather with
. Windy Skies. Windy –
WEATHER As usual, we have sunny skies.
. Tomorrow morning, we will find
. the normal amount of dew on the ground.
. From there, we will move on
. to another sunny day.
. And the rest of the week will be sunny.
. Now for our long range forecast –
. which is usually sunny –
. it looks like a very large system
. will be – building.
(ALL REPORTERS stare at WEATHERMAN.)
WEATHER It’s true. Experts tell us that
. there will be rain – whatever that is –
. for 40 days and 40 nights. (points on map)
. Here, here, here and here- well- everywhere.
. This will be accompanied by
. a turbulent weather system,
. which, well - I just can’t imagine...
(EVERYONE looks worried for a moment, until...)
WEATHER But for now, it IS sunny!
ANCHOR Thank you, Windy. I know
. our weather forecasts have never been
. incorrect until now. We can only assume
. that it’s some sort of joke.
. Which nicely leads us into our final story.
. Our local killjoy, Noah,
. whom we all like to call –
. that crazy man, Noah – is building
. a very large structure, which he calls
. an “ark”. He is claiming that God
. told him to build this contraption
. because there is going to be extensive
. flooding with this so-called rain.
. So if you’re wondering what that
. big hulking thing is blocking
. the main thoroughfare through town,
. it is the aforementioned “ark.”
. Please be sure to sign the local petition
. to have THAT ugly eyesore dismantled.
(CO-ANCHOR looks at ANCHOR with all seriousness.)
CO-A Do you think Noah might have some
. insider's information? I mean,
. is this something maybe we should
. all worry about?...
(After a moment of serious contemplation,
they all wave off the thought.)
ANCHOR So that’s it for your 4
. local news tonight.
. Goodbye - and – party on
. till death do you part!
(NARRATOR steps in front.)
NAR. News flash from Proverbs 1:32, Beware
. “for the waywardness of the naïve
. shall kill them,
. and the complacency of fools
. shall destroy them.”