.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
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www.church-skits.com

YOUR LOCAL NEWS - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:       complacency to sin, the flood
SCRIPTURE:   Genesis 6:1-22, Proverbs 1:32
Style:       satire/spoof on news show: reports
.            give us a unique feel as to how
.            it was leading up to the flood.
Cast:        ANCHOR, CO-ANCHOR, SPORTSCASTER,
.            WEATHERMAN, NARRATOR
Set & Props: notes, world map or globe,
.            set of a newsroom can be assumed,
.            simplistic or extravagant as you want

SCRIPT:

(A news jingle can be played as actors
take their places.  SPORTSCASTER to the left,
ANCHOR & CO-ANCHOR in the center,
and WEATHERMAN/WOMAN to the right.)

ANCHOR  Good evening, I’m Dooms Day, and welcome to
.       your local news.  Today’s top news story –
.       crime is up once again.

CO-A    Is that even possible?

ANCHOR  I guess it is.  Men have been coming up
.       with new ways to break into homes.
.       If you are using rocks and boulders
.       as a form of home security, be careful
.       that they are not used against you.

CO-A    I always find it helpful to send the kids out
.       very quickly to retrieve the rocks before
.       the perpetrators can get at them.

ANCHOR  That is a good idea.  Then, if
.       something happens to the children –

CO-A    You can always have more.

ANCHOR  Or kidnap a few from a local town.

CO-A    I also keep connections with
.       a child slavery market, if you’re interested.
.                                                  2
ANCHOR  Thank you for that tip.  And for more
.       on combative violence, there are courses
.       on offensive and defensive tactics
.       being offered at a local tavern near you.

CO-A    Is that a scam for an ambush like
.       last time?

ANCHOR  Not – that I know.  And now for
.       the local sports – Action Fan –

SPORTS  Well, last night was the big game
.       between the Giants and the Beasts.
.       The game ended in bloody mayhem which
.       included the players as well as the sports fans.
.       In the end, the Giants came out on top with
.       the fewest injuries and deaths:
.       7 points to 10 – a new record.
.       Now back to our very favorite society pal,
.       Good Times –

CO-A    Thank you, Action Fan.  This week,
.       the big buzz amongst the elite has been
.       the endless partying up at the Nephilim Palace.
.       Everybody who’s anybody was invited,
.       including such celebrities as Show Star
.       and Easy Does It.  Only the very
.       finest beverages and narcotics were
.       in abundance and constant supply –
.       night and day.  Anything goes,
.       isn’t that right, Dooms Day?

ANCHOR  Party on!  And on that high note,
.       let’s move on to the weather with
.       Windy Skies.  Windy –

WEATHER As usual, we have sunny skies.
.       Tomorrow morning, we will find
.       the normal amount of dew on the ground.
.       From there, we will move on
.       to another sunny day.
.       And the rest of the week will be sunny.
.       Now for our long range forecast –
.       which is usually sunny –
.       it looks like a very large system
.       will be – building.
.                                                  3
(ALL REPORTERS stare at WEATHERMAN.)

WEATHER It’s true.  Experts tell us that
.       there will be rain – whatever that is –
.       for 40 days and 40 nights.  (points on map)
.       Here, here, here and here- well- everywhere.
.       This will be accompanied by
.       a turbulent weather system,
.       which, well - I just can’t imagine...

(EVERYONE looks worried for a moment, until...)

WEATHER But for now, it IS sunny!

ANCHOR  Thank you, Windy.  I know
.       our weather forecasts have never been
.       incorrect until now.  We can only assume
.       that it’s some sort of joke.
.       Which nicely leads us into our final story.
.       Our local killjoy, Noah,
.       whom we all like to call –
.       that crazy man, Noah – is building
.       a very large structure, which he calls
.       an “ark”.  He is claiming that God
.       told him to build this contraption
.       because there is going to be extensive
.       flooding with this so-called rain.
.       So if you’re wondering what that
.       big hulking thing is blocking
.       the main thoroughfare through town,
.       it is the aforementioned “ark.”
.       Please be sure to sign the local petition
.       to have THAT ugly eyesore dismantled.

(CO-ANCHOR looks at ANCHOR with all seriousness.)

CO-A    Do you think Noah might have some
.       insider's information?  I mean,
.       is this something maybe we should
.       all worry about?...

(After a moment of serious contemplation,
they all wave off the thought.)

ALL     Naw!

ANCHOR  So that’s it for your                      4
.       local news tonight.
.       Goodbye - and – party on
.       till death do you part!

(NARRATOR steps in front.)

NAR.    News flash from Proverbs 1:32,  Beware
.       “for the waywardness of the naïve
.       shall kill them,
.       and the complacency of fools
.       shall destroy them.”