. all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
. refer to www.church-skits.com
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT – written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: we need spiritual food
SCRIPTURE: Prov.15:14, Mark 7:18-23, Jhn.6:26-27,
. Titus 2:12, Heb.5:13-14, 10:25
Style: allegory/spoof of “Harold’s Head”:
. as a man decides whether he feeds
. his spiritual nature or his sinful nature,
. his choices effect his reactions
. to the different situations around him.
Cast: CARL, SPIRITUAL NATURE, SINFUL NATURE,
. NANCY, BILL
Set & Props: table, 2 chairs, files, Bible,
. milk, 4 food plates, 2 desserts,
. 2 signs: “spiritual nature” and
. “sinful nature”
(SPIRITUAL NATURE and SINFUL NATURE both sit at table
at stage right. SPIRITUAL NATURE looks hungry,
SINFUL NATURE looks weak.)
(CARL enters from stage right, carrying a glass of milk
in his right hand. CARL yawns and stretches with his
left arm, then looks at his watch, balking at the time.)
CARL Oh man, I’m late for work again!
(CARL takes little steps in a few directions, confused
as to what he should do. Seeing the milk in his hand,
he looks at the table.)
CARL I really don’t have much time.
(SPIRITUAL NATURE puts out his hand hopefully.
SINFUL NATURE weakly lifts his head and one hand
SPI At least – I read one verse.
SIN Please, give me some. I’m so weak.
(CARL shakes his head and quickly sets the milk down
in front of SPIRITUAL NATURE. As CARL walks toward
center stage, SPIRITUAL NATURE looks at the milk, shrugs,
then sips at it.)
(NANCY enters from stage left carrying files 2
and sees CARL.)
NANCY Hi Carl.
CARL Nancy! How are you doing?
NANCY I’m good.
CARL Say, I’ve been meaning to ask –
. would you like to go out sometime?
. Let’s say – dinner and a movie?
NANCY Oh, well, you see, Carl,
. I only date Christians.
CARL Ah, I - AM a Christian.
NANCY (skeptical) You are?
. Which church do you attend?
CARL Oh, um, I – haven’t had much time lately,
. but I usually go to the Baptist Church
. down the street.
NANCY Really, I’ve been a member for years.
. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you there.
CARL Yeah, it’s been a while. I try to read my Bible
. though. As often as I find the time.
. Anyway, about that dinner and a movie?
NANCY I’m sorry, Carl. Not until we –
. have WAY more in common.
(NANCY exits stage left as BILL enters from stage left.)
BILL Heyyy, Carl, how’s it going?
. (looking back at NANCY)
. Looks like you were just shot down.
CARL (sadly) I’ll get over it.
BILL Why don’t you join me? I’m checking out
. that new joint around the corner.
. That’ll help cure what ails you.
(BILL nudges CARL suggestively. CARL thinks.)
(SINFUL NATURE raises his head looking at CARL.)
SIN (weakly) Come on, you know you want to.
. Just for a few minutes. Come on,
. help me out here.
(SPIRITUAL NATURE tries to think and talk.)
SPI. Ah, no – ah – it’s probably not
. a great idea - ah –
. I think – but I’m not sure -
(CARL walks over to table, takes the glass of milk away
from SPIRITUAL NATURE and gives it to SINFUL NATURE,
who takes it eagerly and chug-a-lugs rest of the milk.)
(CARL walks back to BILL.)
CARL Ah, sure, why not.
. Just for a while though.
(CARL and BILL walk to the back of the stage,
then split. BILL exits left. CARL walks around
the back of the table and exits stage right.)
(CARL enters again carrying a plate of food and sets
it down in front of SINFUL NATURE.)
SIN Yes! It’s about time.
(SPIRITUAL NATURE slouches down a bit.)
SPI You can’t just give up.
(CARL goes straight to center stage. BILL enters
from stage left and slaps CARL’S shoulder.)
BILL Quite the time we had, huh?
. I’m going again – tonight –
. if you want to join me.
SIN Yes, please.
(CARL and BILL walk to the back of the stage, then split.
BILL exits left. CARL walks around the back of the table
and exits stage right.)
(CARL enters again carrying a plate of food and dessert,
and sets it down in front of SINFUL NATURE.)
SIN Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!
(SPIRITUAL NATURE wilts a little more and drops his jaw.)
(CARL goes straight to center stage. BILL enters from
stage left and slaps CARL’S shoulder. NANCY, carrying
her Bible, follows behind BILL and sees everything.)
BILL Hey, another day’s done.
. Are you with me, pal?
. Every night is fun night with Bill!
BILL (to NANCY) Nancy! Want to join us!
NANCY You’re a funny guy, Bill.
. I’ve got Bible Study tonight.
. You’re all welcome to join ME though,
. if you’d like.
(SIN NATURE guffaws loudly. SPIRITUAL NATURE perks up
just a little bit.)
SPI Wha-wha – Bible study?
NANCY (more to CARL) We’re studying the topic
. of spiritual gifts, and how we should
. use them to serve, which in turn
. helps us grow and get better connected.
(SIN NATURE yawns with a huge jester.)
SIN Come on! Avoid the snooze-fest!
BILL Getting better connected? Hear that, Carl?
CARL She means getting connected with God.
NANCY Yes, as well as with other Christians.
BILL Now Carl, seriously –
SIN Yeah, seriously Carl!
. (chants & bangs on table)
. I want more-I want more-I want more!
(CARL stands there thinking and holding his head
NANCY Well, don’t do it for me.
. I’ll know soon enough
. if you’re doing just THAT.
. But - do it for yourself.
. For your own spiritual growth.
. We start at seven.
(NANCY exits stage left.)
BILL What’s it going to be, Carl?
(SINFUL NATURE pounds on the table again, louder
this time. SPIRUTUAL NATURE holds his ears shut
from the noise.)
SIN I need more-I need more-I NEED MORE!
SPI This is not good.
CARL You know, the way I’ve been going,
. I’m really not finding any peace and joy
. in my life. I’m going to –
. go to that Bible Study –
(BILL waves CARL off and exits stage left.
CARL walks around the back while SINFUL NATURE bangs
loudly on the table again, chanting.)
SIN Feed me – feed me – feed me –
(CARL comes out with food and dessert and puts it
in front of SPIRITUAL NATURE.)
SIN Hey-wait! What about me?
(CARL looks at the plates in front of SINFUL NATURE,
then slides them over to SPIRITUAL NATURE.)
SPI Church would be great, too.
CARL I’m also going to start attending
. church again –
CARL Every week!
SIN (weaker) No. 6
(CARL exits stage right and comes back with more food,
and puts it in front of SPIRITUAL NATURE.)
SPI Reading the Bible and talking to God
. everyday, would help too.
CARL And I’m going to get back
. to a steady diet of daily devotions
. and prayer without ceasing.
(SINFUL NATURE faints. SPIRITUAL NATURE looks healthy,
happy and strong.)
SPI That’s what I’m talking about. Hallelujah!
CARL Hallelujah! Thank you, Lord!
(CARL does a victory lap around the table and exits