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WE’RE OFF TO SEE... - (video eg.) written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: Christians don’t belong to this world,
. salvation, seeking, guidance
SCRIPTURE: Ps. 119:19; Is.58:11; John 17:16; Lk.11:9
Style: satire/spoof of Wizard of Oz: the entire
. cast, found in a school cafeteria,
. searches for something better.
Cast: Mikey, Dorothy, Curt, Tim, Len, Glenda,
. Wendy, Professor Oz.
Set & Props: school books, table, chairs, bag lunch
(MIKEY sits at table, studying and eating a sandwich.
CURT, TIM and LEN strut up carrying college schoolbooks.)
TIM Check it out, Monkey has been trained to study.
. (mocking) Monkey studies hard.
CURT (to Tim) Have a heart, Tim.
. I think YOU should be trained to study.
TIM Speak for yourself, you’re the idiot.
. Awwww, you’re right. I DO need a heart.
CURT And you’re right, Tim, I DO need a brain.
. What are we going to do about it?
LEN What ARE we going to do? All the tables
. in the cafeteria are taken.
TIM (to MIKEY) Yo, Monkey – Mikey! Move. Scram,
. we need this table. Aw – see – there I go AGAIN!
MIKEY I’m almost done. You can sit with me
. if you want.
DOTTY (approaching with long face) Hi guys.
TIM Hey, what’s up? You look awful. Aw – man!
. Rude again!
CURT You look sad, Dotty.
DOTTY (sighs) I don’t know. Maybe –
. I guess I don’t exactly feel like
. I want be a part of Kansas anymore.
LEN What are we talking about Dotty?
. Are you moving? – Are you going to run away!? –
. OHHHH, you’re not considering – suicide –
. are you?
DOTTY I don’t know. I guess I’m just thinking –
. there must be more to life. More beyond
. the state of Kansas. More beyond this planet.
. There must be something – better – somewhere
. over the rainbow.
CURT Whoa. Deep. Too deep for me.
. Where’s a brain when you need one?
TIM (to DOTTY) You’re not going to start singing,
. are you? If you burst into song right now,
. I’ll want to kill myself. (realizing) Doi!
DOTTY Shut up. I’m serious.
LEN You just shouldn’t talk that way,
. you’re scaring us.
TIM A pop tart jumping out of a toaster
. scares the life out of you.
. (to himself) Ah! I just can’t help myself.
LEN Well, just the thought of – what lies beyond...
. death and all. Maybe it’s just all –
. nothingness. Ahhh, you’re right,
. I am scared of everything. Where in this world
. can one get some courage?
(GLENDA walks in waving, smiling and throwing kisses to
everyone like she’s a pageant girl walking up a runway.)
GLENDA Hello. Hi. Hello everyone.
CURT Hey Glenda. You’re – looking pretty as always.
GLENDA Thank you, Curt. And I just want to thank
. everyone else for THINKING that very same thing.
DOTTY Speaking of thinking the same things, Glenda,
. don’t YOU ever get the feeling like
. you’re just not – HOME?
GLENDA Oh of course, every time I’m not at home.
DOTTY That’s not really what I meant.
GLENDA It’s important to have a home, you know.
. There’s so many people who don’t have one,
. and I just want to help everyone.
DOTTY Well, I just feel like – I DON’T have a home –
GLENDA But you have a home. With two parents, even.
. Did you know that most children –
DOTTY Yeah-yeah-yeah, homeless and hurting –
. I’m talking about the bigger picture.
. Emotionally. SPIRITUALLY!
(MIKEY perks up and begins to listen in.)
CURT Man, that is deep. If only I could reason out
. the reasons.
LEN Oh-oh, here comes the wicked witch of the
. west coast.
(WENDY, a radical punk marches up to the group
and tries to get past. Face to face with TIM,
she coolly stands her ground.)
WENDY I can do this all day, dog, I’m not
. going anywhere.
TIM Oh no, please stay. We LOVE your company.
WENDY Be careful what you wish for.
LEN (nervously) Heh-heh-heh... Hey, there’s
. Professor Oz. He teaches philosophy, you know.
. He should know.
(OZ walks by very piously. He’s a little annoyed
at the interruption.)
DOTTY Professor Oz? I’m – we’re – wondering –
. if there is more to life than this?
. I mean, when we die, will we have
. another home to go to?
OZ It’ll be whatever you want it to be.
. Just think about THAT.
DOTTY Seriously? That’s the best you could – 4
. that’s all –
OZ (offended) What more do you want?
DOTTY A reason.
TIM A heart.
CURT A brain.
GLENDA Lots of shoes and sparkly things.
(There’s a bit of a pause as OZ looks at WENDY.)
WENDY (shrugging) Power to survive.
OZ Oh, well in that case –
. (to WENDY) You need to lift a few
. more weights – and take a shower.
. (to GLENDA) You’re going to need
. a LOT more money.
GLENDA (smiling and chanting) There’s no place
. like Macey’s, there’s no place like Macey’s –
OZ (to LEN) You just need some pride.
. (to CURT) You need to – well you just
. need to study more, boy.
. (to Tim) Why don’t you just try being nicer?
. (to DOTTY) And, you just need to find
. either a great job or a good husband
. and have lots of kids.
DOTTY This is your advice for the afterlife?
OZ What can I say, it’s that simple.
DOTTY That doesn’t even make any sense.
MIKEY Ah, excuse me, I can answer your questions.
OZ YOU? And just how many degrees might you have,
. young man?
CURT He does study a lot.
MIKEY I’ve studied the Bible a lot.
OZ The Bible! That’s just a bunch of
. outdated rhetoric.
MIKEY And all your cherished Greek philosophy books
. aren’t? It’s not that I can help,
. but I can say– from personal experience,
. it’s GOD Who can help all of you.
OZ I don’t need any help.
MIKEY (to OZ) To approach God, you would need
. humility, and He would guide you in real truth.
. (to LEN) You only need to fear God, and in God,
. you have no need to fear anything.
. (to CURT) Ask God for wisdom, and God
. will give that to you abundantly.
. (to TIM) God is love. To know God,
. is to know and HAVE love.
GLENDA I’m already perfect, and desire woooorrrld peace–
MIKEY Nobody is perfect, and everybody needs God.
. He can forgive you of all your sins, and you
. can have true joy, peace and contentment.
. Then having shoes and shiny things won’t matter.
WENDY I’m beyond hope. The things I’ve done are
. too horrendous for God to handle.
MIKEY God is all-powerful. He can save everybody,
. and what’s more – WANTS to. God cares about you,
. Wendy. And God can give you hope and security.
. (to DOTTY) God wants to be your Heavenly Father,
. and have you be part of His family. He would
. prepare a perfect Heavenly home for you
. for all eternity. And – He has designed you
. with a purpose. Everyone has purpose.
. (to ALL) Anyway, food for thought.
. If you’re still hungry, you can find all that
. and more in the Bible... See you around.
. (gathers books and leaves)
OZ Funny little guy.
(DOTTY starts to go.)
CURT Where are you going?
DOTTY Going to find a Bible so I can find my way home.