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VALENTINE FORGETFULNESS - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:       relationships between spouses,
.            love is not self-seeking
SCRIPTURE:   1 Corinthians 13: 5
Style:       dramody/conversation: a husband forgets
.            that it is Valentine's Day
.            and gets into an argument his wife.
Cast:        Wife; Husband
Set & Props: mixing bowl, apron, telephone on a table;
.            overalls or oil jacket

SCRIPT:

(WIFE kneads something in a mixing bowl at the table.
HUSBAND, wearing overalls, walks into house, very tired.)

WIFE     Hi, honey.  How was work?

HUSBAND  Okay.

WIFE     Anything else?  Anything – NEW today?

HUSBAND  Just – the usual.  Not much else to say really.

WIFE     There’s... nothing, you want to GIVE me then?

HUSBAND  Oh! I’ll give you a kiss after I wash my face.

WIFE     THAT’S IT!!!

HUSBAND  Isn’t that the usual?  Or has the
.        list of protocol changed again?

WIFE     For THIS DAY, it’s ALWAYS different
.        than the usual.

HUSBAND  (confused)  I’ve done something wrong,
.        haven’t I?

WIFE     What DAY do you think it is?

HUSBAND  Ahhhh, it can’t be our anniversary.
.        There’s still snow on the ground.
.        We got married in summer, right?
.                                                    2
WIFE     I don’t BELIEVE you!  Don’t you ever
.        look at a calendar?  It’s February...
.        February the 14th....

(HUSBAND just sighs.)

WIFE     You know, Valentine’s Day? Remember?!
.        It’s that day when you give
.        the person you love SO much, some chocolates,
.        or flowers, or at the very LEAST a card!

HUSBAND  Huh. I’m sorry. I forgot.  I have a LOT
.        on my mind, and I’ve had a LOT of stuff to do.

WIFE     I’m not worth a FEW minutes of your time?
.        You know, I have lots of STUFF to do, TOO.

HUSBAND  Well... WHAT did you get ME?

WIFE     The MAN is the one who’s supposed to buy
.        something for the woman!

HUSBAND  Who says?... And I thought women
.        wanted equal rights.

WIFE     Oh, and like, you’d really appreciate things
.        like flowers, chocolates or cards?!

HUSBAND  Maybe.

WIFE     You’d just say it was a waste of money.

HUSBAND  Well, it is.

WIFE     Not if you appreciate it.  And I appreciate
.        those things.  It lets me know that you’re
.        thinking about me... and appreciate me.

HUSBAND  I do think about you and appreciate you.
.        There!  Now you know.

WIFE     Oh! You’re SOOO romantic about it, too!
.        Aren’t I worth a FEW dollars?

HUSBAND  You’re worth so much, I couldn’t even afford it.

WIFE     Nice try!                                   3

HUSBAND  What do you WANT from me?

WIFE     I want to hear that you love and appreciate me,
.        EVERYDAY.  AND I want chocolates, flowers
.        and a card AT LEAST once a year.

HUSBAND  Your birthday and our anniversary doesn’t count?

WIFE     At least three times a year then.

HUSBAND  You might as well just program me like
.        a computer to do all that.

WIFE     Why should I have to program you?
.        You should just WANT to do all that...
.        and more.

HUSBAND  Maybe you have to make me WANT to.

WIFE     Maybe I do, and you just don’t notice.
.        (pause)  Grrr.  This is getting us nowhere.

HUSBAND  Hey, I did apologize, way back when,
.        a few minutes after I got in the door.

WIFE     So that’s it!  You can’t just say, “I’m sorry”
.        and get off the hook for everything you do
.        after that for the rest of the day.
.        Or, just say “I’m sorry” once every year
.        and be done with it.

HUSBAND  (frustrated)  I am SO tired, and hungry.
.        (pause)  I NOTICE, the work that you do.
.        Okay?  Thank you.  But how often
.        do you thank ME for going out to work
.        5 or 6 days a week, 10 hours a day.

WIFE     Well, you’re suppose to –
.        (pause) I’m sorry.  The kids were crazy today,
.        I’m PMS’ing right now...

HUSBAND  Wait a minute.  I can’t get away with saying
.        “I’m sorry” when I make a mistake;
.        but anytime you blow off steam
.        “You’re PMS’ing?!”
.                                                    4
(WIFE clamps her mouth shout realizing her error.)

HUSBAND  Why do you get to have excuses for everything,
.        but I can never be human?  Maybe I’m PMS’ing!
.        Oh, or if it’s not that, it’s:
.        you are always right and I’m always wrong.

WIFE     But you never listen to what I’m saying,
.        and argue anyway.

HUSBAND  There!  See!  And we ALWAYS keep getting back
.        to THAT, no matter what the argument is about.
.        Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

WIFE     (crying)  I’m sorry – I’m SCUM!

HUSBAND  That’s right. I forgot that one – the martyr card.
.        (pause)  You’re not scum.  We both work
.        very hard, but we both make mistakes.
.        And I AM sorry. And I still love you.
.        Even though we get into these frustrating
.        arguments!  And because we love each other
.        unconditionally, we will always work things out.

WIFE     (sniffing) I know.  I keep forgetting
.        how lucky I am to have you.  I’m just
.        so grateful that both of us know God
.        and have His selfless love-  Oh-
.        I suppose I got a little selfish –
.        a LOT selfish.  I mean, I am REALLY sorry.
.        I cannot make it my goal – to make you
.        do whatever I want – and then get angry
.        when you don’t do it.

HUSBAND  How about if I take a shower while you find
.        a sitter.  Then I’ll take you out for supper
.        and we can continue this discussion.

WIFE     Now we’re talking.
.        (picks up the telephone)
.        I love you.

HUSBAND  I love you.
.       (mutters as he exits)
.        I see now: flowers, chocolates and a card
.        would have been much cheaper!
.                                                    5
WIFE     What’s that?

(HUSBAND peeks his head out momentarily.)

HUSBAND  Ahhh, try to make reservations at
.        Chateau Dneiper.

WIFE     Oooo.

(HUSBAND winces while WIFE runs off stage all excited.)