.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
.             refer to

PRINCESS SCHOOL – written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:        walking in wholeness, King’s ambassadors
SCRIPTURE:    Matt.5:16, 2 Cor.5:20, 1 Pet.2:9-17
Style:        satire/conversation:  women learn what
.             it truly means to be of royalty
.             as they attend Princess School.
Cast:         TEACHER, WOMEN 1-3
Set & Props:  you could have 3 school desks &/or chairs,
.             if not, just have actors stand,
.             4 notebooks, 3 pens, 2 tiaras
NOTE:         this can be a sequel to
.             also, the 4 parts can be done separately as
.             a series, or all run together for one skit



(WOMEN/DIVAS 2 and 3 enter, adjusting their tiaras
and primping.)

W 2   I am so excited about taking this class.

W 3   Me too.  Any chance to improve my princessness
.     is always good in my books.

W 2   Oh, exactly.  My dream - is to rule - the world.

(WOMAN 1 enters carrying a notebook and pen.  She stands
there at first, looking around, like looking for a seat.)

W 3   (to W2)  Ugh, check HER out.
.     She’s got a lot to learn.

W 2   Totally.  In fact, we should just be
.     totally exempt from this class anyway.

W 3   Totally!  I mean, can’t they see?
.     Is everyone at this school BLIND?
.     Must we really need to shine spotlights
.     on ourselves?

(WOMAN 1 starts to take a step to the “front.”)

W 2   Oh, wait, I want to sit right in front.           2

W 3   Well, me too-me too.

W 2   I said first.

W 3   Soooo unprincess-like.

W 2   You’re so unprincess-like!

(WOMEN 2 and 3 rush ahead of each other to scramble
and push [gently] for the front.  If there are seats,
this is easier to do, but if not, have WOMAN 2 wind up
standing in “front” and WOMAN 3 standing right “behind.”
The row should go along the stage so congregation
can see all students.  The “front” of the class will be
to the side, so everyone will stand in a line.)

W 3   (to W2)  Teachers pet!

W 2   You’re just jealous.

(WOMAN 1 calmly approaches and takes the back “seat.”)

W 1   Hello.

W 2   (smiling sweetly at W1)  Heeelllooooo.

(WOMAN 2 shrugs then faces forward as TEACHER enters
and looks around.)

T     Good morning, class.

W 2   (beginning)  Good morning, princess teacher.

(WOMAN 3 notices WOMAN 2’s prompt reply and quickly jumps
in with the salutation.  WOMAN 1 just smiles politely.)

T     Welcome to Princess School.  This is Princess 101
.     where we will discuss how to BECOME a princess,
.     as well as the basics of what it means
.     to BE a princess.  There is always room
.     for improvement.  (notices tiaras, then W1)
.     And I see that someone is already a princess.

W 2   (turns around to others)  That would be me.

W 3   Uh, and me!  Pleease - I’m already a princess!    3

T     And I also notice that this princess
.     already has her handbook, as we suggested
.     when signing up for this course.

(WOMEN 2 and 3 desperately look around their persons
for any signs of a notebook.  Not finding any, they gasp
with concern, then try to cover up their negligence.)

T     (to W1)  Have you already been studying ahead?

W 1   I have.  It is most helpful, thank you.

W 3   (mocking W1)  “It is most helpful, thank you.”

(WOMAN 2 looks back at WOMAN 3 and nudges her with
a warning glare.)

T     (to W2&3)  Excuse me, ladies - you really
.     should have your handbooks.  One moment, please,
.     while I get those for you.

(TEACHER exits.  WOMAN 2 glances back at WOMAN 1.)

W 2   (then to W3)  Did you know about the handbooks?

W 3   I just didn’t think I really needed it.

(WOMAN 2 studies WOMAN 1.)

W 2   (back to W3)  I just don’t see it.

(WOMAN 3 glances at WOMAN 1, then back at WOMAN 2.)

W 2   I mean, really?  What makes
.     the teacher think that SHE is a princess?
.     I mean, look at her, and then look at US?
.     We have tiaras and everything.

(TEACHER enters with 2 notebooks.)

T     Ladies, here you are.

(WOMEN 2 and 3 quickly look back trying to look like
proper angels as TEACHER hands them each a notebook.)

T     Shall we turn to lesson 1, right at               4
.     the beginning of our handbooks?

(WOMEN all open the notebooks.)

T     In order to BECOME a princess,
.     we must first humble ourselves.

(WOMAN 2 and 3 glance at each other with wide eyes
of concern, then look back at the TEACHER.
As TEACHER speaks, WOMAN 2 slowly raises her hand
and keeps it raised.)

T     This means that we must acknowledge the King.
.     We must realize our need to put the King
.     ahead of ourselves.  All our personal possessions,
.     and positions, power and control – these
.     all mean nothing in comparison to the King.
.     (to W2)  Yes?  You have a question already?

W 2   Yes.  Ah... in order to continue these classes,
.     can we keep wearing our tiaras?

T     While you wear your tiara, you are allowed
.     to come to class, but you cannot be a princess.

W 2   (back to W3)  I don’t think she really knows
.     what she’s talking about.

W 3   Maybe we get BETTER tiaras later.

(WOMEN 2 and 3 turn back to focus on the TEACHER.)

T     The King is very understanding,
.     and really does want each one of us
.     to become members of his royal family.

(WOMAN 2 and 3 quickly glance at each other and do
tiny hand-claps to demonstrate enthusiasm,
then turn back to the TEACHER.)

T    To become members of His royal family, you must
.    of course, first realize that there is a King.
.    Then you need to ask the King to be your Father,
.    and put the King first in your lives.  You must
.    honor the King.  This means putting the spotlight
.    completely on the King.  Not on ourselves.
.                                                       5
(WOMAN 2 raises her hand eagerly.)

T    Yes?

W 2  Oh, ah, can we SHARE the spotlight with the King?

T    No.  The spotlight should - only be on the King.

W 2  Oh.

(WOMAN 2 ends with a “pop-mouth-smack” noise, thinking.)

T    I can see that there is already a lot
.    to think about, so that will conclude
.    our first lesson.  I will let you have
.    some time to let it all sink in.

(Continue if you are going straight through all parts,
otherwise you can have the TEACHER exit.
Then WOMEN 2 and 3 turn around to see WOMAN 1 smile
at them, then exit.  WOMEN 2 and 3 look at each other
and make a face, then adjust their tiaras to fit tighter
on their heads before exiting with an aloof strut.)


(Have WOMEN 2 and 3 rush on, fighting for the first seat.
WOMAN 2 gets the front again, and sticks her tongue out
at WOMAN 3.  WOMAN 1 enters and calmly takes last seat.
TEACHER then enters and smiles at the class.  
OR, just continue right through from this point.)

T    Lesson 2.

(WOMAN 1 turns a page in her notebook immediately.
TEACHER waits.  WOMAN 2 wonders and looks back, then
quickly looks forward to find the place in her notebook.
WOMAN 3 then quickly does the same.)

T    Lesson 2 - is about being empowered-

W 2  I already gots me the power.

T    (correcting)  Empowered by the King.

W 2  Oh.                                                6

T    Does anyone know what that means?

(WOMAN 1 raises her hand and TEACHER nods for her
to answer.)

W 1  Being empowered by the King grants you the authority
.    to represent him – in serving others.

(WOMAN 3 guffaws.)

W 2  (rolls her eyes)  Serving others!

T    Exactly!

(WOMAN 3 looks out with wide-eyes, confused.)

W 2  What?!

T    Once you are part of the King’s royal family,
.    you are expected to represent the King.

W 2  As in - share the spotlight.

T    It is more like - you are the King’s spotlight
.    to the rest of the world.  You represent the King.

W 3  Wait... and, what exactly does the King stand for?

T    Justice, peace and love.

W 2  That sounds easy enough.

W 3  So he loves us – then what? –

W 2  I was talking!

W 3  It’s not all about you.

W 2  It is – more than it’s about you.

W 3  The King loves me more than he loves you.

T    Ladies, please.  The King loves everyone and
.    treats everyone fairly, and desires peace for all.

W 2  Is he generous?                                    7

T    He is very generous.

W 2  So we’ll get lots of things.

T    Not necessarily.

W 3  You just said that he treats us all fairly,
.    and he is generous.  So where’s all the stuff?

T    You’re trying to put the spotlight
.    on yourselves again.

W 2  And if we are representing the King,
.    as ambassadors, I suppose we will then be invited
.    to all sorts of grand parties?

T    Mostly we are expected to serve.

W 2  As in work?!

T    Exactly.

W 2  For real?  Work!

W 3  I don’t even know if I can say that word,
.    (struggles)  “www-“ – “www-ooo – rrrrr”

W 2  Doing what exactly?

T    Establishing peace - helping others-

W 2  Unacceptable.  If I’m in a royal family,
.    I am the one who should be served.

W 3  I agree.  I would only help someone if it
.    somehow helped me or made me look good.
.    Is that what you are talking about?

T    No, this is all about - us making the King
.    look good.  Putting the spotlight on him.
.    Your motives for serving is to please the King
.    because you love and appreciate him
.    and all that he does for you.  

W 2  So we’re expected to work?
.                                                       8
W 3  This is completely unacceptable.

T    With any position comes responsibility.
.    But actually, there is great joy in serving
.    the King and the people.  Besides me,
.    has anyone else experienced this?

(WOMAN 1 raises her hand, until TEACHER nods
for her to continue.)

W 1  I have.  And it as you say, a joy to serve others
.    in order to bring focus on the King.
.    Besides it being a humbling experience,
.    I feel it an honor.  Helping to establish peace
.    gives me a great sense of joy.

W 3  (mocking)  Great sense of joy.
.    She’s beating you in the teacher’s-pet-department.

(WOMAN 2 glances back at WOMAN 1 and rolls her eyes
as she looks back to the TEACHER.)

W 2  Whatever.

T    I will let you all have some time
.    to think about this lesson, ladies.

(Continue if you are going straight through all parts,
otherwise you can have the TEACHER exit.
Then WOMEN 2 and 3 turn around to see WOMAN 1 smile
at them, then exit.  WOMEN 2 and 3 look at each other
and sigh before exiting.)


(WOMAN 1 enters first and takes the third seat calmly,
already opening up her notebook to the proper page.
WOMEN 2 and 3 rush on and notice WOMAN 1 and roll eyes.
WOMAN 2 grabs the first seat.  WOMAN 3 sighs and
takes the second seat.  TEACHER enters with a smile.
OR, just continue right through from this point.)

T     We will look at lesson 3.

(WOMAN 2 scrambles to find the page while muttering.)
.                                                       9
W 2   Being a princess must have some
.     good things to it.

(WOMAN 3 rolls eyes then finds her the place in her
notebook begrudgingly.)

T    As a review, being a princess means
.    that you are part of the royal family.
.    This means that you give all honor to the King,
.    and represent him.  As an ambassador,
.    you serve the King and others.

W 3  Which is – “wwwoo – wooo–rrrr” – ugh-
.   I still can’t say it.  To be a princess
.    is sounding very much like a huge chore.
.    We are expected to study, take classes,
.    AND “wwwooooo–rrrr”

W 2  Work! – just say it already!

T    Which is to serve.

W 3  (gasps)  That is still woooo – wwww –

W 2  Work.  Get over yourself.

W 3  Get over YOURself.

W 2  I think I actually am.  I think I’m starting to see
.    that serving WOULD be different from work.

W 3  What is getting into you?

W 2  Thoughts.

W 3  Thoughts?!

W 2  Yes, I’ve been thinking.

W 3  Weird.

T    Well, I’m very happy for you.
.    And I’m pleased to see your progress.

W 3  Progress?  This is insanity!

T    Now, continuing on with lesson 3, we will be      10
.    talking about - taking care of ourselves.

W 3  Well now we’re talking.

T    With the help of the King.

W 3  Does he provide us with spa treatments?

T    No, the King likes to meet with each royal member
.    and see how they are doing – and if they have
.    any specific needs -

W 3  Oh, ah, such as facials, and mani-pedis?
.    So then the King sends over his servants for THAT-

T    It is more like – the King wants
.    a personal relationship with each one of us.
.    The King – wants to help us in any way that he can.

W 2  (confused)  So the King - is now serving US?

T    Exactly.  The King has always led by example.

W 3  Weird.

W 2  I’m thinking-

W 3  Again?

W 2  Yes, it’s kind of – wonderful.  Kind of makes sense,
.    then, that you would put the King in the spotlight -
.    you know - if he’s THAT wonderful.

(WOMAN 1 nods.  WOMAN 3 slaps her forehead in disbelief.)

T    When we become a part of the King’s family,
.    the King makes sure that nothing ever gets
.    in the way of us being able to reach him
.    in our times of need – whenever or for whatever
.    that is.  The King knows full well that in order
.    to serve him, we need to be fully equipped for that.

W 3  Except I know nothing about www – woo – rrrr-

T    That is why the king provides us with everything
.    that we need, including the proper instructions-
.                                                      11
(TEACHER holds up the notebook.)

T    As well as training, and encouragement.
.    He certainly wants us to be focused, inspired,
.    and motivated, but most importantly, he wants us
.    to LOVE what we are doing  so we have a life
.    of wholeness, love and joy.

W 1  That is awesome.

W 2  So you can THEN serve better.

W 3  Ugh!

T    Exactly.  And that concludes lesson 3.

(Continue if you are going straight through all parts,
otherwise you can have the TEACHER exit.
Then WOMEN 2 and 3 turn around to see WOMAN 1 smile
at them.  WOMAN 2 smiles and nods.  WOMAN 3 shakes
her head in disbelief as they both exit.)


(WOMAN 1 enters first and takes the third seat calmly,
already opening up her notebook to the proper page.
WOMEN 2 and 3 enter.  Reaching the seats, WOMAN 2 thinks,
then motions for WOMAN 3 to take the front seat.
WOMAN 3 shakes her head and sits in the second seat.)

W 3  That’s okay, I think there might be something wrong
.    with that seat.  I’ll continue sitting right here -
.    just in case.

(WOMAN 2 shrugs and sits in first seat.  TEACHER enters.
WOMAN 2 calmly opens up her notebook, and WOMAN 3 mimics.
OR, just continue right through from this point.)

T     Before continuing with lesson 4,
.     are there any questions?
.     Any new thoughts?

W 3   It’s too much wooo – it’s just too MUCH -
.     to become a princess.

T     Then you haven’t understood right from           12
.     the beginning.  It isn’t any work at all
.     to BECOME a princess.

W 3   W-wait-what?

T     And it isn’t enough just to ACT like a princess.

W 2   W-wait, WHAT?

T     Acting princess-like will not fool the King.

W 3   (nudges W2)  Ha!  So you’ve been acting
.     all polite for nothing!

W 2   Remind me again of lesson 1.

T     There is no work involved - at all - to become
.     a princess.  All it involves is making the King
.     your father by putting the spotlight on the King.
.     By humbling yourself, and making HIM the King
.     in your life.

W 2   (light bulb moment)  I get it.  I get it now.
.     I understand.  I don’t need or want THIS!

(WOMAN 2 takes off tiara.  TEACHER takes it and hides
it somewhere then comes back.)

W 2   (keeps going)  I don’t want to rule the world,
.     or my own life, because I don’t know what
.     I’m doing.  But the King does!  He has experience,
.     and is the best one to rule, and he is our example,
.     and he helps us do what we should be doing
.     AS a princess.  I’m a – I’m a princess now.
.     I really am a princess now.  But more importantly,
.     I made the King – my own father.  The King
.     is my dad, and he’s going to take care of me.

T     Forever!

W 2   (to W3)  Forever!  I’m so happy.
.     (to W1)  You’re now my sister.
.     (to T)  And so are you!
.     (to W3)  And – (solemnly)  I want you to be
.     my sister.

W 3   I’ll think about it.                             13

W 2   (picks up again)  I just can’t believe
.     how happy I am.  And I want to help
.     establish peace.

T     This brings us to lesson 4.
.     Living a joyful life of freedom.

W 3   I’m still confused.  So exactly where does
.     the freedom come in?

T     Once a princess – always a princess.

W 2   (serious)  Oh, ah, what if I make a mistake
.     in how I serve?  Or if – I maybe – forget to serve?

T     THAT is where the freedom comes.
.     Nothing you do or don’t do – will stop you
.     from being a princess and part of the royal family.

W 3   So you don’t have to wwwwooo- serve!

T     You never have to serve to BECOME a princess,
.     or REMAIN a princess.  That is done.
.     AS a princess, you are expected to represent
.     the King - because you WANT to.

W 2   I do – I really do.

W 3   What has the King ever done for you?

W 2   Made me a princess.  Duh!  I mean, sorry.
.     (nicer)  The King made me a real princess.

W 3   I’m assuming, that whatever a princess does,
.     will just be easy work.

W 2   You said the word.  You said “work.”

(WOMAN 3 clamps her hand over her mouth in shock.)

T     Serving can sometimes be very difficult.  But the
.     King always supplies you with everything you need.
.     And sometimes, you will struggle, but again,
.     the King knows just how much you can handle,
.     and always supplies you with everything you need.
.                                                      14
W 3   So there aren’t any perks to being a princess.

W 2   Duh!  I’m a real princess.  I mean, sorry,
.     I’m a princess, and part of the royal family,
.     and already, I’m feeling better about myself
.     than I did before.  And I get to serve the King
.     and serve others-

W 3   You sound brainwashed!

W 2   I sound like I have - purpose to my life.

W 3   (thinking)  I suppose- (thinking some more)
.     But now you have to act all proper-like
.     and can’t have any fun.

T     Ooohhhh, princesses can have fun.

W 3   They can?!

W 2   Can’t you see, I’m enjoying myself way more now
.     than I ever did before.  Are you really having
.     all that much fun?  Huh?  Think about that.
.     And in the end, you don’t belong to the
.     royal family.

T     And as you just mentioned - “in the end” -
.     WE all get to live in the palace, and the King
.     will give us rewards for good service.

W 3   (perks up)  What?

T     The King will give us rewards, like crowns-

W 2   We WILL get better tiaras.  NOT that I need one
.     right now.  Right?

T     That’s right.

W 2   Well, I’m anxious to get started.
.     Let’s go – serve – somebody.

W 3   You could start with me.

T     Before you rush off, it’s always a great idea
.     to go visit the King and speak with him a bit.
.                                                      15
W 2   We can actually visit the king?

T     He’s there to help you serve
.     in the best way possible.

W 2   I get to visit with the King?

T     As often as you want!  Every day - all the time.

W 2   (to W3)  I get to visit with the king!
.     (serious again)  Alone, or with my new family?

T     Both.

W 2   Well, what are we waiting for?  Come on.

T     (to W3)  So, of course, you are welcome
.     to keep coming to princess-school.

W 2   Or join the family.

W 3   You don’t really want me in your family.

W 2   We do so.

T     (to W3)  We do, but you can’t join just because
.     WE want you to.  We cannot be sisters, unless
.     we have the same father.  THAT is your decision.

(TEACHER, WOMAN 1 and 2 exit together with smiles
and laugher.  WOMAN 3 stops to think.  Looking up,
she finally removes her tiara and [maybe] sets it down
on her desk or chair, then rushes to catch up.)

W 3   I do want to help establish peace!
.     I do want to be a real princess and serve.
.     I do want the King for my father.
.     Wait for me!  Oh sisters.  Wait up!