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NOAH       - written Tanis Harms
TOPIC:       trust, God provides, God is in control
Concept:     Genesis 6:1–9:17
Style:       satire/spoof on Barbara Walters Interview:
.            Noah is interviewed on his past experiences
.            in the ark
Cast:        NOAH, MARTA WATERS (has problems saying her Rs)
Set & Props: table, 2 chairs

SCRIPT:

(NOAH sits down with MARTA WATERS.)

MARTA  Hello, and I’m - Marta Waters.
.      Today I’m here with Noah...  just – Noah –
.      who is 900 years old today.  Happy Birthday, Noah.

NOAH   Thank you, Marta.

MARTA  Now, Noah, you don’t mind if I call you Noah?
.      Wow! You don’t look a day over 700, I must say.
.      900 years old!  And you’ve certainly
.      led a fascinating life.
.      You were around before the great flood.
.      Tell us what that was like?

NOAH   It was chaos.  Lots of crime.
.      LOTS of crime.  Terrible.

MARTA  Certainly not the “good old days”, huh?

NOAH   No, certainly not.
.      Men did exactly as they felt.

MARTA  But you were – ARE – considered a righteous,
.      blameless man.

NOAH   Oh, well, I just - do my best.
.      I just want to honor God.

MARTA  And very humble, I must say.
.      Now, back then, there was no rain.
.      Explain that to us.

NOAH   Well, there was no rain!                           2
.      There was a firmament around the world –
.      like a canopy of water in the sky –
.      if you will.  This kept the earth at a perfect
.      comfortable temperature all year round.
.      Everywhere you went – climate control.
.      The land was moistened by dew.

MARTA  So what was your reaction when God asked you
.      to build an ark and said it was going to rain?

NOAH   Well, just the fact that God spoke to me
.      was awesomely scary.  I figured
.      I’d just better do what He said.
.      I certainly did not have
.      a concept of what was coming.
.      All I could do was trust God.

MARTA  And your feelings on God choosing you
.      and your family to be saved?

NOAH   What do YOU think?  Ah, “Thankful”
.      would be the obvious answer.

MARTA  I can only imagine!  And how did you deal
.      with the people making fun of you?

NOAH   You can’t imagine that one either?
.      Well, you know, it was frustrating.
.      Of course, it WAS strange –
.      me building an ark.
.      But no matter what I said,
.      they thought I was mad – totally mad –
.      building this monstrosity of an ark.
.      But once we were all on the ark,
.      WHO was crazy THEN, huh?
.      Although, BEING on the ark for that long,
.      I thought I WOULD go mad.

MARTA  Did the animals cause any problems for you?

NOAH   No, not at all.
.      They were all very tame at the time.
.      And some actually provided some
.      well-needed comic relief,
.      like those monkeys.

MARTA  I bet.                                             3

NOAH   But most of the animals were asleep,
.      you understand? – hibernating.
.      No-no, one of the hardest things was the thought
.      of being the only ones left on earth,
.      and just the endless floating about.

MARTA  So you were scared?

NOAH   Sure – a bit.  I was
.      600 years old at the time.
.      Not exactly a spring chicken.
.      And that rain – well – let’s say “storm” –
.      lasted 40 days and nights.
.      The firmament - that entire canopy of water –
.      fell down from the sky.  It was tremendous.
.      But after THAT,
.      it was just a lot of floating around.
.      No land in site.  Got a bit stir-crazy.
.      Had to deal with cabin fever.
.      The family took turns telling stories,
.      making up songs, inventing games
.      just to pass the time...
.      we didn’t hear from God for a 150 days.
.      We felt very alone.
.      All we could do was just keep trusting
.      that God was in complete control.

MARTA  You didn’t try taking matters
.      into your own hands?

NOAH   Not much one could really do.
.      I did send out a few birds
.      hoping they'd find some land
.      and wouldn’t come back.
.      One year!  It was one year
.      before we saw any land again.
.      But we still had to wait
.      until the ground was dry enough
.      to leave the ark.
.      God let us know
.      when it was safe and ready.

MARTA  Tell me, what did you learn
.      from all of this?

NOAH   To trust God.  What else is there?                 4
.      Oh, well, maybe patience.
.      But we had to trust God - to protect us,
.      to provide for us,
.      to have an overall plan
.      for our present and future...
.      and then He gave us the rainbow
.      as a promise never to destroy
.      the earth again with water.

MARTA  So you don’t have any fears
.      about going through something like that
.      ever again?

NOAH   No.  I trust God.  If God took care of us
.      through something that big, I’d have to say –
.      I’d trust God to get us through anything.

MARTA  Truly inspirational.
.      Thank you for that, Noah.
.      And this is Marta Waters saying “Good night”.