.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
.            refer to

MOM’S WISDOM - written by Tanis Harms
.              Also works to be followed by the skit
.              “Dad’s Wisdom” to show how wisdom is
.              passed from one generation to the next.
TOPIC:         train your children and they won’t forget
SCRIPTURE:     Proverbs 22:6
Style:         comedy/conversation:  son is moving out
.              of the house and Mom is frantic to go over
.              everything she has ever taught him
Cast:          MOM (around 45), RICK (21 years old)
Set & Props:   table, box, groceries, binder,
.              file folder, 2 chairs


(RICK sits at a table while MOM rushes around filling up
a box with groceries.)

MOM   Okay, we’ve got a variety of canned vegetables,
.     and all your carbs, like pasta and –

RICK  Mom, I know what carbs are.

(While she talks, MOM flips through the binder,
pointing at all the highlights.  RICK tries
to listen with respect, but struggles with winces
and head-slaps throughout.)

MOM   I want to make sure you have everything
.     to make healthy meals.  So what I’ve done
.     is made you this binder.  The front page
.     gives you an example schedule of
.     the different meals you can make,
.     and which side dishes would go with it.
.     And right beside the meal’s name, you see here,
.     there’s a page number, so you can find it –
.     here in the REST of the binder.  And I’ve compiled
.     a list of ALL the ingredients you would ever need
.     to make all these recipes, over here on page... 2.

RICK  Wow.

MOM   As you run out of items, jot them down right away.
.     To make this easier, I have printed off a few
.     grocery list forms with all these ingredients
.     listed here, IN THE ORDER that you’ll find them
.     at the grocery store.
.                                                       2
(RICK rolls his eyes as MOM pulls out a hand drawn map.)

MOM   I’ve – got the map right here.  Page 4.
.     So you take this list, and follow the route
.     on the map, ALWAYS buying the milk and meat –
.     and that kind of stuff – LAST.  As soon as
.     you get home, put them into the fridge or freezer
.     RIGHT AWAY so they don’t spoil and make you sick.

RICK  I - won’t - die.

MOM   No!  Of course not.  Because you’ll always
.     follow all these instructions over here.
.     I’ve also explained how to safely defrost –

RICK  Mom it’s okay!  I’ll just eat out.

MOM   EAT OUT???  You can’t survive that way!

RICK  (realizes his error)  Oops.

MOM   You’ll come here for all meals before you do that.

RICK  I’ll be fine.  Remember, you made me take your
.     little cooking course, and I passed all your tests?
.     And I can always phone if I have any questions.

MOM   Okay-okay, you’re right.  I just didn’t want
.     to raise a helpless son who didn’t know
.     his way around a house.

RICK  Survival 101 – don’t burn down the house.

MOM   Okay.

RICK  Okay.  So, time to move on.

MOM   Yes.

(MOM puts the binder into the box.  RICK makes a move
to get up and take the box of food, which now includes
the binder, but MOM quickly pulls out the file folder
and goes into her next speech.  RICK sits back down.)

RICK  There’s more?

MOM   I forgot.  THIS - is the file folder
.     that MY dad gave ME when I moved out –
.     and struck out on my own.
.                                                       3
RICK  So this is now a history lesson?

MOM   All the notes are still here.
.     And as I followed all his advice
.     on money management, and car maintenance,
.     etc., I have kept all the data current.
.     I, of course, have kept a photocopy of everything
.     for myself.

RICK  You’ve got to be kidding.

MOM   (super serious, gasping)
.     Why would I kid about something like this?

RICK  Well, you usually have - a HINT
.     of a sense of humor.

MOM   Wise guy.  (suddenly concerned again)
.     And it’s just THAT sort of wise-guy stuff
.     that will NOT get you too far in life.
.     It’s crucial to remember the wisdom
.     your father and I have taught you over the years.
.     The problems that you had as a kid,
.     are pretty much the same problems
.     that you’ll have as an adult.  They’re just bigger.
.     And the solutions remain the same.
.     The one that has helped me the most
.     throughout life has been (reciting)
.     “Do unto others as you’d have them do to you.”

(RICK recites the last bit of the verse along with MOM,
then gives MOM a long serious look.)

RICK  Moooommm, just tell me...

(MOM stops to look at RICK, concerned she’s forgotten
some piece of important information.)

RICK  When you moved out of the house,
.     did your parents freak out?

(MOM gasps as she comes to a realization,
then collapses into a chair in disbelief.)

MOM   Oh – no!  I’m just like my mom.
.     And - I’m just like – my DAD!!!

(Seeing RICK’S amused face, MOM starts laughing.)

MOM   They DID freak out.  But they got over it.        4
.     And – I guess I will too.  I mean,
.     your father and I have done the best
.     we could do in raising you, and now –
.     it’s your turn.  And some day –
.     it’ll be your turn to freak out
.     when YOUR kids move out.

(RICK balks and raises his eyebrows.)

MOM   But one step - at a time.

RICK  (joining in with MOM) – at a time.

MOM   Oh, you’ve heard that one before?

RICK  Okay, NOW I cannot tell – are you trying
.     to be serious, or funny?

MOM   Oh!  Ow!  Okay, now is a good time
.     for you to leave.  Maybe I can –
.     say goodbye without – without –
.     (starts to cry and blubber)
.     without - any - tears –
.     o – o - or - blubbering.

RICK  (gently)  It’s okay, Mom.
.     You can keep crying -
.     while we walk to the car.  Come on.

(MOM whacks RICK playfully on the shoulder.
RICK laughs as he picks up the box and walks out.
MOM follows while she laughs through her tears.)

MOM   I’m going to miss you so much.

RICK  I’ll be here for dinner on Sunday, remember?