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JOYFUL HEART - written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:         worrying, joyful heart
SCRIPTURE:     Ps.5:11; Prov.17:22
Style:         satire/conversation: two doctors examine
.              a patient who has pain in their heart
Cast:          PATIENT (best if older child)
.              DR. HEALTHMAN (German accent)
.              DR. FAITH JOY
Set & Props:   2 medical coats, clipboards, pens,
.              stethoscope, stool, glass of water

SCRIPT:

(DR. HEALTH ushers in PATIENT, trying to catch up
with DR. FAITH JOY.)

DR. H      Ich finden eine kinde, zie ist zehr krank.

DR. F      English, please, Dr. Healthman.

DR. H      Oh, yes, I keep forgetting.  
.          I found dis child who ist not feeling vell.

DR. F      I see-I see.  Why don’t you examine her first
.          and rule out anything physical.

DR. H      Ya-ya.  Please climb it up here and sitten.
.          Now, tell me where it hurts.

(PATIENT sits down on stool.  DR. FAITH stands by ready
to take notes.)

PATIENT    It’s my heart.

DR. H      Your heart!  Das ist nicht zo gut (goot).

DR. F      Heh?

DR. H      Sorry.  Dat is not so good.  Let us have
.          a listen in, den, shall we?

(DR. H puts stethoscope to PATIENT’S upper chest.)

DR. H      Oh vell, ya-ya-ya.

DR. F      Yes-yes-yes?

DR. H      Zie breaths, and der heart goes ba-boom      2
.          ba-boom ba-boom.  That is gut!  (goot)
.          Zo den tell me, how does your heart hurt?

PATIENT    It’s inside.

DR. H      Oh, vell, den we need to take a look inside,
.          shall we.  Just trinken das vaser, bitte.

DR. F      Trinkets and saucer bits?

DR. H      Sorry, I keep forgetting.  Drink ze vater.
.          We need to clear da vay to see deep down der.

(DR. H hands PATIENT a glass of water, who drinks some
then gargles with it.  DR. H looks down PATIENT’S throat
while they are gargling.)

DR. H      Nein-nein-nein, such turmoil.  

DR. F      No-no-no.  What is it?

(PATIENT giggles.)

DR. H      Oh, no, do not laugh, laughing is not good.

DR. F      Laughing is good.

Dr. H      Oh, ya-ya-ya.  Laughing is fery good,
.          but not ven you, what is dat vord...

(DR. H gargles.)

DR. F      Gargle!

DR. H      Ya-ya, gargle.  Anyvay...

(PATIENT begins to weep.)

DR. H      But see, how ze laughter turns to crying.
.          Dere’s such heavy sadness.  Laughing can help.
.          It is goot to laugh, but not so necessary.
.          It is more important to have joy in life –
.          Not “ha-ha” joy, but zie peaceful joy.
.          But “ha-ha” laughing is good.  Yah, in fact,
.          I will prescribe you laugh at least twice
.          a veek.  If you have any problems vit dat,
.          I vill refer you to Dr. Crazy Bones.
.          But your condition it is vorse dan I figured.
.          It is not physical, it is much deeper dan dat.
.                                                       3
DR. F      Excellent diagnosis.

DR. H      Ya!  Zo, ve now need zie expert diagnosis
.          from my vunderbar associate – Dr. Kill Joy.

DR. F      Faith!  Dr. Faith Joy.

DR. H      Ya-ya, Dr. Faith Joy.  I have ze problems
.          vit my English.

DR. F      You also have problems with your
.          short-term memory.

DR. H      Ya-ya, I should examine myself
.          vile you look at ze patient here.

(DR. H steps aside and puts the stethoscope up
to his own head while crossing his eyes and
sticking out his tongue.  PATIENT giggles.)

DR. F      Dr. Healthman, do you mind?

DR. H      Oh, ya-ya, sorry.  Dr. –

DR. F      Kill Joy, AH!!!  Faith - Faith Joy!

DR. H      Ya-ya, Dr. Joy takes her vork very seriously.
.          It is very serious stuff.  And see how ze
.          patient’s laughter is filled vit such deep
.          despair.  I vill just be here, quiet,
.          taking notes.

(DR. H stands aside ready with the clipboard.)

DR. F      All right.  So let’s begin and first rule out
.          guilt.  Have you been working on obedience
.          lately?

PATIENT    Yes, I have.

DR.        Nourishment and strength for your soul.
.          Do you read your Bible every day?

PATIENT    First thing in the morning, every morning.

DR.        Do you have a sense of belonging.
.          Do you pray and spend time with God?

PATIENT    Yes.
.                                                       4
DR. F      How about confidence?  Do you work
.          at completely trusting God?
.          Or do you worry a lot?

PATIENT    Oh! – well – I have to - worry a lot.
.          About school, even when I do study hard.
.          And about what people will think about me –
.          I guess that’s not trusting in God, is it?

DR. F      Ah!  So we have found it.  Did you know –
.          that worrying will take your joy away?

PATIENT    I did not know that.

DR. F      In fact, according to the Bible, all those
.          other things will steal your joy, as well.

PATIENT    Thank you, Dr. Faith Joy.  I will go
.          and work on all of that, right away.

DR. H      Oh!  Another happy –

DR. F      JOYFUL –

DR. H      JOYFUL patient.  Let’s have a group big-tens,
.          everybody.

(DR. H jumps out and holds up both hands.
DR. FAITH and PATIENT understand and they high five
each other then walk out.)