.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
.             refer to
www.church-skits.com

FAST FOOD ORDERS – written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:        lifestyle attitudes
SCRIPTURE:    Prov.23:1-35; Eph.4:31; Rom.12:19;
.             Heb.5:12-14
Style:        allegory/conversation: people go to
.             a fast food counter to place an order
.             which determines their lifestyle choices
Cast:         CLERK, PERSON 1-6
Set & Props:  counter/booth or table, 5 paper bags
.             made to look like there’s something in it
.             and are rolled closed at the top.
.             OPTIONAL: sign at booth/table saying
.                       “Fast Food with an Attitude”
.             OPTIONAL: table and chairs for 5
.                       off to the side

SCRIPT:

(CLERK stands behind the counter waiting while
PERSONS 1-6 rush to get in line, and even though they
know each other, PERSON 1 pushes their way to the front.)

P 1     Out of my way!  Me first!-Me first!  Me-me-me-me!

CLERK   Hi, welcome to Fast Food with an Attitude!
.       You are what you eat!  May I help you?

P 1     I want stuff.  Lots of stuff!
.       And I want to rub shoulders with the rich
.       and the powerful.  And I want it to go!
.       Now!  ASAP!

CLERK   So you want an order of greed!  Ah,
.       I’m guess you want that to be with...
.       a side of selfishness, arrogance and pride?

P 1     You got it!  And heap on the ego!

CLERK   It IS a big meal to handle.
.       You do realize, you might be in for some
.       indigestion...  and by indigestion, I mean,
.       stress - and ulcers - induced by
.       high risk investments, misleading flattery,
.       deception and backstabbing politics.
.                                                       2
P 1     BRING – IT – ON!

CLERK   Okaaay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

(CLERK hands a bag to P 1, who has money ready.
P 1 goes to sit at the table or on the floor to the side.
As everyone goes to the table, they freeze, waiting.
P 2 immediately slides up to the counter.)

P 2     So, well, ahhh, I’m not sure – ahhhh...

(PERSON 3 pushes PERSON 2 out of the way.)

P 3     (rudely)  While you decide, allow me!

P 2     You are the stupidest friend I’ve ever had.

P 3     Not as stupid as you!

P 2     I had a pet HAMSTER that was smarter than you.

P 3     I’ll get back at you later!
.       (to CLERK)  I - want - revenge!

CLERK   That automatically comes with the toppings:
.       impatience, anger, hatred, bitterness, and
.       rebellion.

(PERSON 3 holds out hand with money while speaking.)

P 3     Serve that up now, so I can dish it out later!

(While PERSON 3 keeps holding out hand,
CLERK pulls out a bag and makes the exchange.  
PERSON 3 sits at table with arms crossed, angrily.
CLERK nods at PERSON 2.)

CLERK   Are you ready to order yet?

P 2     Ahhh-

P 4     Dude!

P 2     GOOOO ahead.  But you owe me.

(PERSON 4 almost dances up to the counter.)
.                                                       3
P 4     I want the... the ahhhh, like WOW...
.       like, WHERE to start?

CLERK   Let me guess.  You probably want –
.       the party pack.

P 4     Dude!  THAT is what I’m talking about!

(CLERK pulls out a bag and holds it out while talking.)

CLERK   It starts with self-centeredness.
.       Followed by addictions and laziness,
.       then topped off with a dessert
.       of poverty, leading to a life of crime.

P 5     Yeah! PAR-TAY!

(PERSON 5 reaches for the bag, but CLERK holds on tight.)

CLERK   Dude.  You owe ME.

P 5     Dude!  I’ll catch you later.  I mean, look at me.
.       I am so fine.  I’m totally worth it.
.       (with a lower voice)  Come on, be a pal.

CLERK   This first one - is on the house.
.       ‘Cause I know - you’ll be back for more.

P 5     THAT is what I’m talking about.

(PERSON 5 grabs the bag and goes to the table.
PERSON 2 finally steps up.)

CLERK   You ready?

P 2     As I’ll ever be...  I guess.

(PERSON 2 slowly steps closer to the counter.)

CLERK   So, what are you in the mood for?

P 2     Ah, I really don’t want to strain myself
.       too much.  You know?  I really would
.       like to avoid any sort of work.  Or
.       any kind of deep thinking, for that matter.

CLERK   So - an order of Foolishness!  Oh –             4
.       did you want negligence with that?  May as well!
.       And when you order two, you get
.       lower expectations and less responsibilities.

P 2     Sure.  Why not.

CLERK   And as I know you do not care, I’ll throw in
.       lots of complacency.  It definitely compliments
.       the flavor profile you’ve got going on.

P 2     Whatever!

(CLERK and PERSON 2 make the exchange and goes
to sit at the table, staring lamely off into space.
PERSON 5 steps up with a sly and brooding attitude.)

P 5     I’ll have - what – they are all having.

CLERK   (confused)  Ah, you mean the greed, the revenge,
.       the – party pack - AND the foolishness-

P 5     Yeah, all of it!  His, hers- whatever they have,
.       I want it.  Why can’t I have it all?  Huh?
.       Seriously, don’t leave me hanging.

CLERK   Ohhhh, you want the Envy meal.  And -
.       I’ll serve that up extra green for you.

P 5     Sure, but – anytime – anytime there- anytime-

(PERSON 5 snaps the fingers to hurry CLERK along
to make the exchange.  As P 5 goes to sit at table,
PERSON 6 steps up.)

CLERK   Hi, welcome to Fast Food with an Attitude.
.       You are going to be whatever it is you eat.
.       So, what do you want?

P 6     I’m actually thinking – I want – wisdom.
.       And love – love would be good.  And ahhhh,
.       with a side of truth?  And for dessert,
.       I think - contentment sounds really good.

CLERK   Ohhhhh, we don’t serve anything like that here.
.       You want the HEALTHY place over there-
.       up the road a bit.
.                                                       5
P 6     Oh, okay, thanks.  Thanks anyway.

(PERSON 6 approaches the table where friends sit.
PERSONS 1-5 now open their bags and look in.
They shake their bags and find that nothing comes out.)

P 5     Emptiness???!

P 1     Yeah! I mean, no! MINE is full.
.       Mine is REALLY full of stuff.

P 4     Not as full as mine!

P 2     Sooo, I’m just going to go enjoy all of this
.       all by myself then.

P 3     Later dudes.  I’ve got a party to go to.

(PERSONS 1-5 exit in one direction.  
PERSON 6 thinks, then exits in the opposite direction.
CLERK looks at congregation.)

CLERK   You are what you eat!