. all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
. refer to www.church-skits.com
DAD’S DATING DAUGHTER - (script eg.) written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: fathers loving/protecting their children
Style: comedy/conversation: an overly-protective
. father interrogates his daughter's date
Cast: Mr. Barnett, Hanna (Daughter), Doug (date)
Set & Props: 2 chairs, newspaper, watch, table, mirror,
. hair straightener, makeup, accessories,
. paper, 2 cell phones
(HANNAH stands at table, primping and applying makeup.
Meanwhile, MR. B sits and tries to read a newspaper,
but he keeps looking at his watch and then at the “door.”
When there is a knock at the door, MR. B throws newspaper
aside, while HANNAH runs out into the “living room”.
Standing up, MR. B holds out his hand to stop her.)
MR.B I’ve got it.
HANNAH (horrified) But Dad! It’s my –
MR.B I know exactly who it is. Now – go, finish
. getting ready. I’ll – entertain him for you.
HANNAH Oh no! (starts to walk away then stops)
. You’re only going to scare him away.
MR.B Only if he’s wrong for you. Don’t worry,
. I’ve got it.
(Another knock. MR. B stands his ground. HANNAH slinks
off to her room to continue her regime, much faster now.)
HANNAH Oh-no. OH NO! Ohhhh noooo.
(MR. B goes to the side or off stage to “open the door”.)
MR.B Are you Doug? – Well, come in – come in.
(MR. B motions for DOUG to enter and sit. MR. B
sits down and gives him a long stern stare.)
MR.B So you want to take out my daughter, Hannah.
DOUG Yes, sir.
MR.B Did Hannah give you the form to fill out? 2
DOUG Ah, yes, sir.
MR.B Did you fill it out completely and bring it
. with you?
MR.B Let’s have a look at it, shall we?
(DOUG slowly pulls out form. MR. B. takes it and
unfolds to study. Meanwhile, HANNAH turns around
and moves forward, like she’s peeking through a door.
She waves frantically to catch DOUG’S attention.
DOUG sees her. She mouths loudly “I’m – sor – ry!”
DOUG shyly cringes. Waving her hands anxiously to
dry her fingernails, HANNAH turns back to her mirror
to straighten her hair. DOUG watches nervously as
MR. B takes out his cell phone and dials one of the
numbers from the form. DOUG’S cell phone immediately
starts to ring. DOUG fidgets and tries to ignore it.)
MR.B Aren’t you going to answer your cell phone?
DOUG I-don’t want to be rude. I can mute it.
MR.B No-no, go ahead and answer.
DOUG (pulls out cell phone to answer.) Hello?
MR.B (into his cell phone) Just checking.
(MR. B hangs up and smiles. DOUG puts his cell away.)
MR.B Now you can mute it. I trust that the names
. and phone numbers for your parents are correct?
(DOUG nods, worried, hoping that he didn’t make
any mistakes. MR. B stands up with his cell phone
and the form and leaves the room. While we can hear
MR. B having a talk with the parents in mumbled tones,
HANNAH quickly rushes out.)
HANNAH What were you thinking?!
DOUG I’m thinking that – I sure hope my parents
. won’t say something stupid. Why? What?
. What do you mean?
HANNAH I warned you not to come too early! 3
DOUG (shrugs) I was anxious not to be late.
. I’ve been I’ve been looking forward to this
. all week – and even before THAT!
HANNAH Sweeet! But I warned you there would be a whole
. interrogation thing. He’s only getting started.
(MR. B walks back, putting his cell phone away and
going back to the papers.)
MR.B Those were your parents. Now, let’s continue.
DOUG Is there like – several levels to this – sorry.
(MR. B studies DOUG as he speaks. DOUG cringes shyly.
MR. B goes back to the papers.)
MR.B Your STATS look promising. Item number one
. is most important - you are a born-again
. Christian, and involved with your church...
. Yoouu serve – on the worship team...
. What exactly do you do there?
DOUG I - play the drums. (cringes further)
MR.B Drums, huh?
(MR. B pauses. Doug cringes a bit more)
MR.B So you like to bang on things and make
. loud noises for God.
DOUG (nodding happily) Ah, yeah!
MR.B Aaaand is that what you REALLY want to do
. for a living?
DOUG Nooo. That’s just more of a hobby.
. (perking up) But it is a gift from God
. that I should use... (seriously) But
. as I put down for question number 57
. (points to paper) I want to be
. a biological engineer.
MR.B Just checking.
. (pulls out another paper from pile)
. And from the copy of your latest report card,
. that goal should be attainable.
(MR. B looks up, pausing to stare down DOUG.)
MR.B And now I need to hear it straight from
. your mouth: what exactly are your intentions
. with Hannah?... (big awkward pause)
. Did you want to marry her?
DOUG No! (cringing from the extra stern look)
. I mean - I’m just ahhh – we’re just kids.
MR.B So what are expecting from this then?
DOUG Just – to - have some fun? - Innocent fun! –
. Just to be friends, sir.
MR B Mm! – Where are you taking her? Doug.
(HANNAH growls in exasperation as she puts on a vest.)
DOUG To the movies.
MR.B Which one?
DOUG The nice one that’s out right now – with –
. the princess.
MR.B And then what?
DOUG I thought we’d have pizza – at the corner.
MR.B And then what?
DOUG I’ll have her back here – early!
MR.B Very smart thinking. And if there should be
. another so-called date – what will you do then?
(HANNAH approaches Dad, whining with clenched teeth.)
DOUG Go to the church’s youth group.
MR.B Okay. – For now.
MR.B Finally? He WAS waiting for you anyway - 5
. wasn’t he?
(HANNAH whines into her hands, hiding her face,
as DOUG stands up.)
HANNAH I’m so embarrassed.
MR.B (standing also) You do know what my intentions
. are for asking all these questions, don’t you?
HANNAH Torture! Fear!
DOUG Eh, if it’s to put the fear of God into me,
. I’ve already got that.
MR.B I just want to protect my daughter. And I want
. the very best for my daughter. She is very
. precious to me, and I love her – very much.
DOUG Oh! I get that – totally! It’s like –
. if I had the very best car in the world...
. a Lamborghini. I would take the best care
. of it, only using the best -
MR.B Eh, okay! Not quite the same thing –
. but you get the idea. Now, go and
. have a good time.
DOUG Thank you, Mr. Barnett.
(DOUG and HANNAH “step out” while MR. B exits.
Doug sighs heavily.)
HANNAH I’m soooo sorry about that.
DOUG No, that’s okay. I totally understand.
. You’re lucky to have a father who cares so much.
HANNAH He didn’t scare you?
DOUG Seriously! He scared me a lot. But,
. I can respect that. I’m actually glad
. he’s looking out for you.
HANNAH So, if you actually had a Lamborghini,
. you’d totally let me drive it, wouldn’t you?
DOUG Ahhhh, no. Sorry, but no.
HANNAH What? Well, what if we were married? 6
DOUG I can’t even think about that right now.
(DOUG and HANNAH walk off while talking.)
LIGHTS: DIM and COME BACK ON.
(DOUG and HANNAH walk back in, shyly.)
HANNAH Well, I had a great time.
DOUG Yeah, me too. Soooo, I can call you up again?
. Sometime soon? Again?
HANNAH (laughing) Yeah.
DOUG Cool. Okay. Goodnight. I’ll call you soon then.
(DOUG leaves and HANNAH walks into the house.
MR. B rushes in and stops in front of HANNAH.)
MR.B Sooo? Did - you have a good time?
HANNAH The best. He’s a really nice guy.
. Well, I’m tired. Goodnight.
(HANNAH turns to walk to her room. MR. B spreads
his hands out in disbelief. HANNAH rushes back to him
and hugs him.)
HANNAH You know - you’re dorkiness can be kind of
. embarrassing, but thank you.
MR.B For being dorky, or embarrassing?
HANNAH (laughing) For caring. Thanks for –
. WHY you do what you do. (stage whisper)
. You just need to work on the “HOW”.
MR.B Awwww. I love you, kiddo.