.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
.             refer to

CHRISTIAN DRAMA SHOWDOWN – written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:        witnessing
SCRIPTURE:    Matt.28:19-20; John 13:35; Eph.4:17-32
Style:        satire/conversation: a person meets up
.             with various types of Christian groups
.             who try to get across their particular
.             brand of “witnessing”
Cast:         PERSON, GROUPS 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
.             NOTE: each group has two or more actors;
.             you can have the same people act in
.             alternating groups, ie. 1, 3, 5, and 7.
.             With more people, you can also choose
.             to divide the lines up as you see fit.
Set & Props:  placards/signs; Bibles


(PERSON starts to walk across stage when GROUP 1 enters
holding placards and signs saying “Down with stuff”, and
“We are against this!” while chanting these slogans.
PERSON 1 from GROUP 1 suddenly points at PERSON.)

G1 P1   You’re a sinner!  Be saved and join us!

P       Ah– no thank you.

G1 P1   Why not?

P       I don’t exactly like- being so aggressive.

G1 P1   You HAVE to be – or society will just
.       keep on being evil!

P       But – are you doing any good?

G1 P1   We are trying very hard to get rid of all evil.

P       I see what you are against – but what do you
.       stand for?

G1 P1   We stand for being against- what God is against!

G1 P2   Hey, look, there’s another issue that needs
.       stomping on!

G1 P1   Duty calls.

(GROUP 1 rushes off stage with purpose.)

(GROUP 2 enters looking all gangster and strutting tough.
A few carry Bibles, which they hide behind their backs.  
PERSON watches them pass, afraid to move.)

G2 P1   Oh yeah, we’re tough.

G2 P2   And we totally blend in.

G2 P1   Nothing different to see here.  Ah-ahhh.

G2 P2   You see nothing different about us.

G2 P1   So, wha-cha going say about that?  Huh?

G2 P2   We’re so cool – I bet you want to hang
.       with us.

P       That’s quite all right.

G2 P1   What ev’-  We’ll just keep on moving,
.       ‘cause we’re just cool like that.

G2 P1   Scooooore.

(GROUP 2 saunters coolly off, high-fiving each other.)

(Marching right up to PERSON, GROUP 3 pounces.  
ALL wear churchy clothes and big cheesy smiles,
but are all about getting the “numbers.”  
And as they speak, they talk over each other
so PERSON keeps looking back and forth in confusion.)

G3 P1   Hi there!  We’re here representing our church.

G3 P2   Did you know that God loves you?

G3 P1   He sent His Son to die for your sins!

P3 P2   For all have sinned!

P3 P1   We all need God.

P3 P2   So you need to choose to love God.

P3 P1   And come to our church!

G3 P2   Do you have any needs?

P       Actually, I do, I-

G3 P2   Great, we can pray about that.

P3 P1   Lord God, please help this person!  Amen!

P3 P2   Have an awesome day!

P3 P1   See you at church!

P3 P2   (makes a note on a clipboard)  Another one!

P3 P1   I see another person over there!

(GROUP 3 walks off, continuing their hunt.
PERSON is left standing alone – stunned.)

(GROUP 4 enters and freezes, then huddles into
a tight circle.  Every so often they glance over at
PERSON who now becomes too paranoid to move.)

G4 P1   Shhh.  There’s an outsider right over there.

G4 P2   Do you think he/she sees us?

G4 P1   How can they not?  We’re right here.

G4 P2   Should we say anything?

G4 P1   No, why should we.  If they’re curious enough,
.       they’ll come to us, right?

G4 P2   I would think so.

G4 P1   I mean, how could they NOT want to be part of us.

G4 P2   It’s hard to understand why anyone would NOT
.       want to experience what we have.

G4 P1   Their choice!

G4 P2   Exactly.  Okay, let’s get out of here
.       before things get uncomfortable.

(GROUP 4 quickly tiptoes out.)

(GROUP 5 are dressed very dowdy and old fashioned, and
primly walk past PERSON while talking to one another
without ever turning their heads.)

G5 P1   We are doing what we should be doing.

G5 P2   Just keep walking.  Don’t even look at them.

G5 P1   Don’t worry!  I NEVER associate with them.

G5 P2   They will know what we stand for because
.       we LOOK different.

G5 P1   Exactly.  Who needs to say or do anything
.       if we LOOK the part.

G5 P2   And we look completely righteous!

(GROUP 5 disappears without ever looking at PERSON.)

(GROUP 6 enters while scowling at each other.)

G6 P1   I think if I was in charge of that
.       we could reel them in.

G6 P2   You just want to control everything.

G6 P1   Well, it certainly doesn’t have to be
.       your way ALL the time.

G6 P2   My way is better.

G6 P1   Your ideas and opinions have absolutely
.       no value to them.

G6 P2   Why don’t you get help from Audrey then?

G6 P1   I cannot trust that backstabbing gossip.

G6 P2   How do you know?  You have refused to speak
.       to her for at least 2 years now.

G6 P1   She’ll never change!

G6 P2   (noticing PERSON)  Hey, God is able to do
.       amazing things in your life, and change you
.       from the inside-out.  Wanna join us?

P       Ah... noooooooooo?

P6 P2   That’s your problem then.

P6 P1   Whatever!  Why are people so negative!?

(PERSON shakes head incredulously as GROUP 6 exits.)

(GROUP 7 enters, sincere in everything they are saying.
They are carrying Bibles, not showing them off,
but not hiding them either.)

G7 P1   Hey, thanks again for your help the other day.

G7 P2   No problem.  So how’s the search going?
.       I’ve been praying about that a lot lately.

G7 P1   It’s going.  You can keep praying for our wisdom.
.       We have a few difficult choices coming up.

G7 P2   Just let me know if there’s anything else
.       I can do in the meantime.  Did you know-
.       (sees PERSON)  Hey, hi, how are you doing?

P       Um, okay.

P7 P2   We met a few weeks ago, remember?

P       Yes!  I do.

P7 P2   Did that dress/suit fit okay?

P       It did.

P7 P2   How did the interview go?  Did you get the job?

P       No.

G7 P2   So sorry about that.  I’ll keep praying for you.
.       Oh, ah, Dawn/Don, I’d like you to meet
.       Michael/Michelle.

G7 P1   Nice to meet you, Michael/Michelle.

P       Hi.

G7 P1   So what kind of job are you looking for?

P       Something in marketing.

G7 P1   Oh, I know a few people you could talk to
.       about that.

G7 P2   Hey, you want to join us?

P       S- sure...

(GROUP 7 exits with PERSON while talking.)

P7 P1   Today we’re having a fellowship meal after
.       the service.  I’ll introduce you to a few people.

P       Thanks.