.           all rights belong to Tanis Harms –
.             refer to
www.church-skits.com

ANGER MANAGEMENT – written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC:        when to be angry, and when to deal with it
SCRIPTURE:    Ephesians 4:26
Style:        comedy/conversation:  takes place inside
.             the mind of a child, and later the adult,
.             to demonstrate how we might process things
Cast:         Wisdom, Narrator (can be one character)
.             Skeptic,
.             Strength, Hunger, (can be one character)
.             Artist,
.             Fun, Romeo. (can be one character)
NOTES:      - it takes place inside a boy/man’s mind,
.             so if you use girls, put hair up inside
.             baseball caps, etc.; have them act boyish.
.           - You can add bit characters to reflect other
.             personalities.  During group arguments,
.             their mutterings should support this.
.             - LIKE: YES-MAN, who randomly agrees with
.               everyone with reactions such as:  “Yes!”
.               “Totally!” “Completely agree!” “Exactly!”
.             (The younger the actor, the more laughs.)
.           - If you don’t have enough actors, you can
.             combine the suggested characters above.
.             And/or NARRATOR can be the teacher/leader.)
Set & Props:  Table, chairs, soft football, coloring book
.             crayons, briefcase and papers (for Wisdom,
.             which can be the script, used to cheat
.             if needed)  (coloring book can be used
.             the same way for Artist)

SCRIPT:

(NARRATOR steps out.)

NAR.      (Act one!)  Have you ever wondered
.         just what goes on inside a child’s mind?
.         Well, here - is just one example –
.         Here - is the mind of – Peter the Pipsqueak.

(NARRATOR exits.  STRENGTH, FUN, ROMEO and HUNGER
rush out to play catch.  ARTIST sits down at the table
and becomes very involved with coloring in coloring book.
SKEPTIC shuffles in and slumps down into a chair to sulk.
WISDOM enters carrying a briefcase.  Looking around and
noticing SKEPTIC, he sets briefcase down on table and
takes out his papers, TRYING to look very businesslike.)

WISDOM    Hey you guys, we have a few things            2
.         to talk about.

FUN       But we’re trying to have some fun right now.

SKEPTIC   Except that we’re not.

STRENGTH  Again?

HUNGER    (to SKEPTIC)  That’s just you, always
.         looking at the dark side.

(ARTIST raises hand and keeps it up while still
coloring.)

WISDOM    (to ARTIST)  You have something to say?

ARTIST    Yes.  I’m kind of sad, too.

(ARTIST tries to go back to coloring, but STRENGTH gets
in his face.)

STRENGTH  Well, don’t be such a wimp!  Just push it away,
.         why don’t you!

(WISDOM sits down at the table and STRENGTH backs off.)

WISDOM    Why don’t we ALL - sit down and talk about it.

FUN       Aw, do we have to?  Couldn’t we just
.         ignore things like we usually do?

SKEPTIC   You do know that we are angry about something!
.         Deep down inside, we are VERY angry!

ARTIST    (raising hand)  And fus- ferster - fruster –
.         You know, the word Mom always uses?

WISDOM    Frustrated?

ARTIST    Yessss.  (goes back to coloring)

STRENGTH  So, what happened now?

ROMEO     Remember that cute little girl we like?
.         Carlie?

ALL       (dreamy-like)  Yeeaaaaahhhh –

STRENGTH  She’s so cool.
.                                                       3
FUN       And her name has the word “CAR” in it.

HUNGER    That IS SO cool.

SKEPTIC   But let’s not forget, she threw
.         sticky apple juice into our face.

ALL       (groaning with angry)  Ooooooooo –

ROMEO     Yeah, but she’s so cute - we decided
.         to just forget about it?  Right?

ALL       (sheepishly)  Yeeaaaaaahhhh –

SKEPTIC   Well, NOW, she’s gossiping about us,
.         and telling everybody that we’re a wimp
.         just because we cried when Bully Bob hit us.

ARTIST    (raising hand)  Except that we DID cry.
.         (goes back to coloring)

STRENGTH  Why?  Why did we cry?  It wasn’t that bad.

ARTIST    It really DID hurt.

STRENGTH  Maybe if I hit ourselves a few times a day,
.         we’d get used to it.

ROMEO     Are we crazy?

WISDOM    That will not help us at all.

STRENGTH  Why?  Are you chicken?

WISDOM    How is beating up ourselves going to help?
.         It’s just not healthy.

HUNGER    (to WISDOM)  Now you’re starting to sound
.         like Mom.

WISDOM    Sometimes Mom knows what she’s talking about.

SKEPTIC   ANYWAY, now everyone is calling us
.         “Peter-the-Pipsqueak.”

STRENGTH  Ooo!  Well that just makes my skin crawl!
.         Let’s go get ‘em.  We can cream ‘em.

ROMEO     Are you crazy?
.                                                       4
STRENGTH  No, but with a little bit of working out,
.         we can get strong enough to take ‘em all.
.         I’ve had just about enough of this.

WISDOM    Let’s just calm down and think this through.
.         Come on, let’s sit down.  You KNOW we can’t do
.         two things at once.

ARTIST    That’s right!  That’s usually when we
.         spill milk, or something, and get into trouble.

ROMEO     And look like a clumsy dork.

(ALL groan and finally sit down at the table.
STRENGTH fidgets and squirms in his chair.)

STRENGTH  (wondering)  So - what are we doing again?

HUNGER    (suddenly excited)  Oh!  Are we going to eat?

WISDOM    No, we’re trying to think about what to do
.         about the rumors and the bullies.

(ALL go into thinking poses for a few seconds.)

HUNGER    Hummm, I’m hungry.

SKEPTIC   Again?  Can’t it wait?

HUNGER    You know what Mom says, if we don’t eat enough,
.         our bones and muscles won’t grow strong.

STRENGTH  So, yeaaaah, we really need to eat.

(HUNGER and STRENGTH start to leave.  WISDOM stops them.)

WISDOM    Mom says that supper will be ready in an hour
.         and we’re not supposed to spoil our appetite.

(HUNGER and STRENGTH groan as they sit back down.)

HUNGER    It’s so hard to think when we’re hungry.

FUN       Wait, what were we thinking about again?

SKEPTIC   The people who are spreading rumors about us.

ARTIST    And calling us - Peter-the-Pipsqueak.

STRENGTH  Like I said-let’s just cream all of ‘em.      5

ROMEO     Well, except for Carlie.  We don’t want
.         to hurt her, or ANY girl.

ARTIST    (raising hand)  Ah, we really shouldn’t hurt
.         anyone.

STRENGTH  Why?  Because we’re a wimp?

ARTIST    No.  It’s just not nice.

WISDOM    THAT, and if you just start creaming people,
.         they will just want revenge and want to
.         cream us back.

SKEPTIC   It would start up a war.  Are we REALLY ready
.         to fight a war?

STRENGTH  I am!

FUN       You are NOT!  Getting creamed is not fun.

STRENGTH  But playing the GAME of creaming can be fun.

FUN       I don’t think really so.

STRENGTH  (leans over and taunts FUN)  A little bit.
.         Come on, you know it is.  It’s a little fun.

FUN       Maybe a little.

ROMEO     No it’s not!  Especially when we get caught!
.         Then we wind up looking like a loser.

WISDOM    Well, that should NOT be the reason
.         why we don’t do something.  There’s got to be
.         a better reason why we do NOT try to get even.

ARTIST    (raising hand)  Ah, because it’s not nice.

STRENGTH  But then we’ll look even MORE like a wimp.

ROMEO     Actually - just think about it.  The opposite
.         may be true.

(ALL go into thinking poses for a few seconds.)

HUNGER    I’m still hungry.

WISDOM    I’m pretty sure we won’t die from hunger      6
.         in the next 50 minutes!

FUN       What were we thinking about again?

WISDOM    How we’d actually be showing MORE strength
.         if we would be nice to our enemies.

STRENGTH  How does that show any strength at all?

ROMEO     Hello!  Strength of character!  Chicks dig it.

STRENGTH  No they don’t.  They prefer the macho-types.

ROMEO     Well the kind of girl we’re looking for
.         would prefer strength of character.

WISDOM    But mostly, she would want a guy who leaned
.         totally on God’s strength.

STRENGTH  How is that being strong?

WISDOM    Ah, because... God is all-powerful.  Come on,
.         we need to pay more attention in Sunday School!
.         ([or]Youth Group, church...)
.         I know there’s a lot more to it than that.

(ALL go into thinking poses.)

SKEPTIC   Okay, let’s just say that’s right.
.         But what does that mean, exactly?

HUNGER    Wait!  I think I hear Mom calling.
.         Maybe it’s supper time.

(ALL keep still and listen intently, then groan.)

HUNGER    Aw, she wants us to clean our room
.         before supper!

(ALL look at each other then call out at the same time.)

ALL       But Mom!  We’re busy!

HUNGER    Okay, let’s hurry and decide on this.
.         I’d really like to eat.

WISDOM    (speaking a bit faster)  All right, there’s
.         something in the Bible about forgiving
.         and loving our enemies.
.                                                       7
ROMEO     And NOT being angry.

STRENGTH  Yeah, but, isn’t there righteous anger?

WISDOM    Yes!  When something bad happens, it’s okay
.         to feel angry, but then we need to deal with it
.         as soon as possible.

ROMEO     And like, first thing, we need to find out
.         if there’s actually something to be angry at.
.         I’m just saying, it is possible to
.         misunderstand something.

ARTIST    AND make sure WE haven’t done anything wrong.
.         If we have, we should apologize.

FUN       And I guess if something really bad does
.         happen, we need to let Mom and Dad know
.         about it... or someone of authority.

WISDOM    Good-good, I think we’re getting somewhere.
.         We have a plan.

STRENGTH  So - we’re NOT going to cream anyone,
.         even if they are super annoying?

SKEPTIC   Probably - we should just avoid those people
.         if we can.

WISDOM    (carefully)  And avoid - Carlie.

ALL       (sad-like)  What?  Awwwwwww.

WISDOM    (trying to be convincing)  We can do better.
.         Priority is to find someone who is also
.         a believer.  Someone cute – that’s a bonus.

ROMEO     Well, there is that cute girl from
.         Sunday school (youth group, church...).

ALL       (dreamy-like)  Yeeeeaaaahhhhh.

WISDOM    Okay, good plan.

HUNGER    Yes, GREAT plan!  Let’s quickly clean up
.         our room now, so we can eat!

(ALL rush out.  This can be the ending,
or you can continue.  NARRATOR enters.)
.                                                       8
NAR.      Act two!  Does Peter the Pipsqueak grow up
.         to follow his own advice?  Here is one example
.         of what his adult mind - MIGHT look like -
.         if he chose never to follow wisdom.

(NARRATOR exits.  STRENGTH, FUN, ROMEO and HUNGER
rush out to play catch.  ARTIST sits down at the table
and becomes very involved with coloring in coloring book.
SKEPTIC shuffles in and slumps down into a chair to sulk.
WISDOM enters carrying a briefcase.  Looking around and
noticing SKEPTIC, he sets briefcase down on table and
takes out his papers, TRYING to look very businesslike.)

WISDOM    Come on, guys.  We have a few issues on
.         the table that we need to discuss.

FUN       Ooo, are we being ordered around by
.         the Manager from the Department of Control?

ROMEO     So this is an official title now?

STRENGTH  So, just how important are you, anyway?

WISDOM    Do you want this help, or not?

FUN       I’m good.

STRENGTH  I’ve got everything under control.

ARTIST    No you don’t.

STRENGTH  I can handle anything.

ARTIST    (looking up)  No you can’t.

SKEPTIC   (to Artist)  Hey, why are you STILL trying
.         to be an artist.  You haven’t improved at all
.         over the years.  And look, you’re still
.         using crayons.  Just give up already.

ARTIST    (stunned, freezes with mouth hanging open)
.         Well, that just hurt.

SKEPTIC   Someone has to tell the truth.

FUN       Do we?  Do we really have to know the truth
.         about everything?  You see, what works best
.         for me is to ignore everything and –
.         just have fun!  It’s ALL good!
.                                                       9
STRENGTH  I like your thinking!

(STRENGTH and FUN continue to play catch.)

ROMEO     Wait a minute, I think I hear the wife calling.

(ALL stop to listen.)

HUNGER    Psh!  She wants us to carry out the garbage
.         before supper.

FUN       It can wait.

(HUNGER puts hands out for FUN to throw him the ball.)

HUNGER    Totally!  Anyway, it messes with my appetite.

ROMEO     You DO KNOW this will only make her angry.

FUN       Whatever!  Life’s too short.

SKEPTIC   Okay, but what are we going to do about
.         the boss?  He’s out to fire us.

WISDOM    Don’t you all want to sit down and discuss this
.         like adults?

FUN       Naw!  We can do two things at once.

ARTIST    No we can’t.  That’s usually when we spill
.         something.

HUNGER    (looking around)  There’s nothing around here
.         to spill - or eat.  And why is that?  Huh?
.         Ahhh, what were we talking about again?

SKEPTIC   Our job, and how we’re probably going
.         to be fired.

(STRENGTH, HUNGER, FUN and ROMEO keep playing catch.)

STRENGTH  This whole thing is so unfair.  Who started
.         the rumor that we messed up the job, anyway?
.         THEY should be the ones getting fired, not US.

WISDOM    Maybe if we would have handled the situation
.         better, we would not LOOK guilty?

STRENGTH  But we are NOT guilty.  It’s REALLY not fair.
.                                                      10
SKEPTIC   The whole world is out to us, you know.

ARTIST    (glares at SKEPTIC before speaking)
.         Oh!  So suddenly it’s “us”?  It’s YOUR
.         bad attitude that got US into this mess
.         in the first place.

WISDOM    That’s right.  We need to get our act together
.         here.  We need to stop putting our self down,
.         and start working together.  And we really need
.         to get our anger under control.

FUN       So then why are YOU trying to be in control?

WISDOM    Because I bring wisdom to the table.

FUN       You are so overrated.  We are on to YOU,
.         you know, with all your attempts of getting
.         us to exert our self, trying to do our best-

ROMEO     Really!  I mean, we should REALLY take
.         the garbage out if we want any sort
.         of peace in the house.

FUN       (happily)  See, we’re good.  The wife
.         is running things.

STRENGTH  (suspiciously)  That’s riiiggght!  Hey,
.         we can’t let her run things!  WE should be
.         in complete control.  We really should
.         stand firm and - NOT - do what the wife says.
.         We should be able to do whatever we want.

WISDOM    Do you hear yourself?  This is insane!
.         We are in chaos.  Every aspect of our life has
.         lost purpose and focus.  We’ve tainted our job
.         and the marriage with this resentful anger.

ROMEO     (dreamily)  Yeah, don’t you remember the
.         early years?  We were so in loooove, and we
.         looooved our career, and the wife...  We did
.         nice things for her, and then it was easier
.         for her to be nice.  It was all so - nice.

(ALL stop to look out dreamily.)

HUNGER    Yeeaaahhh, what went wrong?

(ALL stop to think a bit.)
.                                                      11
SKEPTIC   Didn’t the wife throw sticky apple juice
.         in our face?

ROMEO     No, that was Carlie in seventh grade.

SKEPTIC   Riiight.  Well, I know the wife did something.

STRENGTH  Yeah, something!  And I just can’t let it go!
.         It’s just not fair, you know.

WISDOM    Are we sure we didn’t do something, too?

STRENGTH  Come on!  We didn’t do anything to deserve
.         THIS!  This means payback.  I mean,
.         I’m not going to back down until SHE does.

ARTIST    (defending the wife)  But seriously, the wife
.         really does want us to step up and be what
.         we should be.  We SHOULD at least TRY.
.         SHE tries, you know, to encourage us.

SKEPTIC   (pointing to the coloring book)  You mean
.         about us becoming an artist?  She LIES!!!
.         We are NOT an artist!  And we’ll never be one!
.         Give up the dream already.

(SKEPTIC leans back again with arms crossed.
ARTIST finally puts down the crayons and just stares
sadly ahead, while the REST play catch.)

ARTIST    Why are you so negative?  It’s like –
.         we’re just committing random acts of hate.

STRENGTH  Don’t you think this is a case of
.         righteous anger?

WISDOM    ARE we right in all these situations?
.         Have we done NOTHING wrong?  Do you think
.         maybe our pride is getting in the way?

STRENGTH  Oh!  We definitely have our pride!

SKEPTIC   If we lose our pride, what are we left with?

FUN       That’s right!  It’s not fun to put down
.         our pride!  It’s like saying – we don’t know
.         what we’re doing.

ARTIST    But we don’t!  And are we really having fun?
.                                                      12
FUN       We can pretend that we are, can’t we?

WISDOM    Guys, do you want my help, or not?

FUN       Naw!  We’ll just take whatever comes.

STRENGTH  I can take it from here.  If anything gets
.         in our way, I’ll just stamp it out.  Come on,
.         take a break from trying to figure things out.

ROMEO     You mean, you’ll hold it in until you
.         can’t take anymore, and then you’ll blow up!

SKEPTIC   (sarcastically)  Oh!  That always goes SO well.

(ROMEO stops playing catch to listen.  ALL stop.)

ROMEO     Oh-ohhhh...  the wife is really angry now.

STRENGTH  And that just makes ME angry.  How DARE she
.         be angry at US?

FUN       (stopping)  But you do realize, if she’s
.         mad at us - this ain’t gonna be fun - at all.
.         It’s like, less and less fun all the time.

HUNGER    You’re right.  And I’m hungry!  I do want
.         to eat.

WISDOM    (incredibly)  So, are we actually going to -
.         at the very least - take out the garbage?

FUN       (sadly sighing)  I suppose it’s the very least
.         we could do.

ROMEO     Come on.

(ALL exit in with a sulky mood.)