.          all rights belong to Tanis Harms, © 2015
.             refer to
www.church-skits.com

KIDS WORKSHOP – “FAIRY TALE NEWSCAST
.                                – written by Tanis Harms

.            with familiar characters
STORY:       news reporters do on the spot news reports
.            on various fairy tale events
STYLE:       a drama (which you can use in a talent show)
.            ideal for weeklong kids’ creative arts camp.
.            The drama is designed so that every kid
.            can have a featured part (main or bit).
.            Pick and choose from the option bits,
.            or combine bits where it makes sense.  
.            To teach different skill sets,
.            do songs and/or dances at the beginning
.            and/or at the end of the drama.
.            NOTES FOR ORGANIZING A CREATIVE ARTS CAMP

.            $15.00 USD to receive a WORKSHOP PACKAGE
.            
how you receive this & package description

CAST:        NEWS ANCHOR (can be the director, especially
.              if the kids need dialogue prompting);
.            (reporters below can be group leaders...)
.            GROUP/OPTION 1:  MUNCHKIN MORRIS,
.              MUNCHKINS 1-9, GOOD FAIRY;
.            GROUP/OPTION 2:  LOST GIRL LOIS,
.              LOST KIDS 1-9, TINKERBELL
.            GROUP/OPTION 3:  PETER PUMPKINEATER,
.              GUARDS 1-2;  PEOPLE 1-8
.            GROUP/OPTION 4:  ROBIN CRUSOE,
.              PRINCE, MEN 1-4, EXPERTS 1-5
.            GROUP/OPTION 5:  PEGGY PIGLET, LAWYER
.              WOLF 1-2 (could be the same actor),
.              COP 1-2, PIGS 1-3, FRIENDS 1-3
.            GROUP/OPTION 6:  EXPERTS 1-10 (or 1-2)
.            GROUP/OPTION 7:  JACK SPRAT, JACK BE NIMBLE,
.              TALKING TUPIP, MAD HATTER, ALICE, CAT,
.              RABBIT, GURU, COOK, QUEEN
.            GROUP/OPTION 8:  SKY BLUE, PERSON 1-3
.              CHICKEN LITTLE, DUCKS 1-6
.            GROUP/OPTION 9:  SISSY STYLES,
.              PRINCE CHARMING, SLEEPING BEAUTY,
.              ex-BEAST, BELLE, ALADDIN, JASMINE,
.              EMPEROR, WIFE, THUMBELINA,
.              RED RIDINGHOOD, DOROTHY, CINDERELLA

SET:         it’s as simple as using your imagination      2

PROPS:       microphone/s & clipboard/s for REPORTERS;
.            GOOD FAIRY’s wand;  TINKERBELL’s bell;
.            GUARD’s swords and/or pageboy capes;
    PRINCE’s crown, MEN’s bow & arrows,
.              EXPERT’s white lab coats;
.            WOLF 1-2’s ears, COP 2’s paper and pen;
.            JACK SPRAT’s notebook,
.              JACK BE NIMBLE’s candlestick,
.              PLAYER’s croquette mallets,
.              MAD HATTER’s hat, RABBIT’s ears, CAT’s ears,
.              COOK’s hat, QUEEN’s crown
.            acorn (or something like it)
.            WIFE’s fan, THUMBELINA’s wings, RED’s cape,
.              DOROTHY’s shoes, CINDERELLA’s shoes


SCRIPT:

ANCHOR       Good evening, and welcome to F.T.T.V. news,
.            where your favorite fairy tale news reporters
.            bring you the latest stories and scuttlebutt.
.            I’m your news anchor, Merry Wordsworth.

OPTION 1

ANCHOR       We begin with our inter-other-world-news,
.            where our field reporter, Morris Munchkin,
.            is stationed in the Land of Oz.  Morris?

MORRIS       I’m Morris Munchkin, here in the Land of Oz,
.            where we have just heard about the undoing
.            of the Wicked Witch of the West.
.            I have been told that there were several
.            munchkins who witnessed the sad event.

(MUNCHKINS 1-9 and GOOD FAIRY enter.  MORRIS holds out
a microphone to each one as they give their report.)

MUNCHKIN 1   NOT sad!  Happy!  It is a very happy event.

MUNCHKIN 2   The Wicked Witch of the West was very evil.

MUNCHKIN 3   And now she cannot bully us any longer.

MUNCHKIN 4   Because a house fell on her!

MUNCHKIN 5   A house!  Just fell down from the sky.

MUNCHKIN 6   And a girl named Dorothy was in the house.    3

MUNCHKIN 7   So it is all thanks to the girl named Dorothy.

MUNCHKIN 8   Dorothy is our hero!

(MUNCHKINS jump up and down cheering.)

GOOD FAIRY   The munchkins wanted to make her their queen,
.            but all Dorothy wants now,
.            is to find her way home.

MUNCHKIN 9   She left as soon as she could
.            in order to find the Wizard of Oz.

MORRIS       Well, we certainly wish Dorothy a good and safe
.            journey as she follows the Yellow Brick Road.
.            Meanwhile, the celebrations continue
.            here in Munchkinland.

ANCHOR       Thank you, Morris Munchkin.

OPTION 2

ANCHOR       We go now to our field reporter,
.            Lost Girl Lois, up in Neverland.  Lois?

(LOIS and LOST KIDS 1-9 enter.)

LOIS        Hi, I’m Lost Girl Lois, here in Neverland.
.           Tragically, Wendy, a friend of Peter Pan’s,
.           has just been kidnapped again.  Lost Kids,
.           what are you able to tell us?

LOST KID 1  We’re pretty sure it was Captain Hook.

LOST KID 2  Of courses it was Captain Hook!

LOST KID 3  Who else would it be?

LOST KID 4  Tinkerbell might have something to do with it.

LOST KID 5  Right, because Tinkerbell is kind of jealous.

LOST KID 6  Anyway, Peter Pan is now looking for her.

LOST KID 7  Who?  Tinkerbell or Wendy?

LOST KID 8  Wait.  Here’s Tinkerbell now.

(TINKERBELL flies in angrily, shaking some jingle bells.)  4

LOST KID 9  She says she’ll takes us to the spot
.           where Peter Pan is fighting Captain Hook.
.           Come on!  Let’s go help him!

(LOST KIDS all follow TINKERBELL offstage.)

LOIS        Fortunately, I also speak fairy language.
.           And what I just heard, was Tinkerbell
.           admitting that she led Wendy into a trap.
.           I shall dig deeper into this intriguing story
.           and get all the details so you can hear
.           a full report on this incident when the clock
.           strikes 12, in time for the midnight news.
.           Back to you, Merry Wordsworth.

ANCHOR      Thank you, Lost Girl Lois.

OPTION 3

ANCHOR      For our local news, we shall go to the castle
.           where we find our reporter, Peter Pumpkineater.
.           Peter, things look very serious over there.
.           Can you tell us what just happened?

(PETER enters, followed by PEOPLE 1-8.  
GUARDS 1-2 block their progress with great authority.)

PETER       Peter Pumpkineater, here on the scene.
.           From what we can see, things look very tragic.
.           Very tragic indeed.  At the moment,
.           we are surrounded by all the king’s men.
.           (to GUARDS)  Excuse me, could you give us
.           any details about what just happened here?

GUARD 1     Stand back, please.

PERSON 1    (pointing across stage and shrieking)
.           Look!  Over there!  Someone’s been injured!

PERSON 2    They’re covering him up. too.
.           That is not a good sign.
.           Not a good sign at all.

PERSON 3    I see a bit of shell.  I think – I think- it-
.           looks like–  It was Humpty Dumpty, wasn’t it?

GUARD 2     Sorry.  We cannot give out any names
.           until the kinfolk have been notified.
.                                                          5
PERSON 4    Oh, I just know it was Humpty Dumpty.

PERSON 5    Yeah!  When we were walking by earlier,
.           we saw Humpty Dumpty sitting on that wall.
.           Right – over - there.

PERSON 6    We did warn him to be careful.  And now-
.           I cannot believe that Humpty Dumpty fell.

PERSON 7    It must have been a great fall.
.           He looks completely cracked apart.

PERSON 8    Ohhhh, poor Humpty.  We will miss him so much!

PETER       And there you have it.  We can only speculate
.           at this moment, but we believe the casualty
.           to be Humpty Dumpty.  Our hearts and prayers
.           sincerely go out to the eggshell family.

ANCHOR      Such a great loss to our fairy tale world.

OPTION 4

ANCHOR      We now move on to a story which has grabbed
.           the attention of several horticulturalists,
.           as well as some members of the royal family.
.           We take you now out into the woods.
.           Robin Crusoe, what are your findings there?

(EXPERTS 1-, PRINCE, MEN 1- enter, followed by ROBIN.
EXPERTS, PRINCE and MEN stand in a semi-circle huddle,
miming a discussion while ROBIN gives his/her introduction.)

ROBIN       Hi, Robin Crusoe here, exploring this
.           mysterious phenomenon out here in the woods.
.           A very aggressive specious of thorn trees
.           was recently discovered by the prince
.           and his men while out hunting.
.           We now have several experts here on the scene,
.           trying to figure out exactly what this is.

(ROBIN sticks microphone out to whoever is speaking,
as they are having more of a discussion amongst each other.)

EXPERT 1    It’s very overgrown.  For all we know,
.           there could be an entire town beneath it all.

EXPERT 2    So I’m thinking these thorn-trees have been here
.           for a very long time.
.                                                          6
EXPERT 3    I would estimate a guess and say...
.           about a hundred years or so.

EXPERT 4    How is it we have never seen
.           any species like this before?

EXPERT 5    It’s very possible these were put here
.           by some magical fairy.  What?  I’m just saying.

(EXPERTS look at 5 questioningly.)

PRINCE      What I need to know is – would it be possible
.           to hike through this and see what is hidden
.           beneath it all?

MAN 1       Your highness, I don’t think that would be
.           a very good idea.  It does not look very safe.

MAN 2       Indeed.  We know nothing.  For all we know,
.           there could be dragons hiding there.  What?
.           I’m just saying.

(MEN look at MAN 2 questioningly.)

MAN 3       I’m sorry to say this, your highness,
.           but if you do try going into that –
.           mysterious forest, you will be on your own.

MAN 4       Indeed.  I have a very bad feeling about it.
.           The last time someone found a forsaken castle,
.           a beast was found to be living there.

PRINCE      So be it.  But I feel like this is something
.           I must do.

(ALL watch as PRINCE braces himself and walks across stage
and disappears.  ROBIN turns forward to narrate.)

ROBIN       The prince has decided to move forward.
.           And interestingly enough, the thorn trees
.           separated and made a path for him to enter,
.           but closed up right behind him.  Shockingly,
.           we are not sure if this mysterious forest has
.           swallowed him right up, or perhaps, he is okay
.           and on a path to some incredible discovery.
.           Only time will tell.  I’m – Robin Crusoe.

ANCHOR      Thank you, Robin.  Please keep us posted
.           on that compelling story of amazing bravery.
.                                                          7
OPTION 5

ANCHOR      This just in, breaking news from the shire.
.           Peggy?

PEGGY       Hi, I’m Peggy Piglet, here in the shire where
.           there has been suspicious activity involving
.           raging wolves huffing and puffing houses down.
.           In fact, this could be one of them, right here.

(COP 1 escorts away WOLF 1, with hands behind back.
LAWYER catches up.)

WOLF 1      I AM INNNOCENT!  I don’t know what
.           you’re talking about.  I was not even here
.           at the time.  I have an alibi.
.           I was at a cottage, pretending to be-

LAWYER      Not another word.  As your lawyer,
.           I beg you to keep quiet.  And – for the record-
.           he’s only an “ALLEGED raging wolf”.

COP 1       So you say, but we’ve got eyewitnesses that
.           put him at the scene of the crime;
.           so, he is a prime suspect.

(COP 1 exits with WOLF 1 and LAWYER.  
COP 2 writes notes while listening to PIGS 1-3
and FRIENDS 1-3 give their details.)

COP 2       So let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
.           What happened first?

PIG 1       I was at home, eating some curds and whey,
.           with my friends over here,
.           when that wolf came by and threated
.           to huff and puff and blow my house down.

FRIEND 1    You know your house didn’t stand a chance.
.           I warned you not to build it out of straw, but
.           you did it anyway.  And so it just fell down.

FRIEND 2    The entire house just blew away!
.           is more like it.  And there we stood.

FRIEND 3    So I suggested we quickly run over to
.           the neighbor’s house.  Fortunately,
.           s/he was outside hanging up laundry.

PIG 2       That’s right!  I’m also missing my laundry!    8
.           We all ran inside, but that wolf came over and
.           not only blew my beautiful wooden house down,
.           but blew away all my laundry.  I just hope
.           my insurance covers everything.

PIG 3       Anyway, that’s when they all ran over
.           to my house.  It’s made of brick,
.           so we were safe.  And that’s when
.           we called the police, and you caught-

(PIG 3 points in the direction that WOLF 1 exited with
COP 1, but sees WOLF 2 tiptoeing across the stage.)

PIG 3       Hey, wait a minute, there goes another one!
.           Maybe that was the wolf!  

COP 2       You all get inside where it’s safe.
.           It’s time to catch another perp.

(COP 2 chases WOLF 2 off the stage.  PIGS 1-3
and FRIENDS 1-3 exit in the other direction.)

PEGGY       As you can see, a second wolf has been spotted,
.           and is on the lam.  Police are in hot pursuit.

ANCHOR      Thank you, Peggy Piglet.  Be sure to stay safe,
.           while you keep us posted on any updates.

OPTION 6

ANCHOR      With that, we wonder if crime-stats
.           are on the rise.  Experts are on standby
.           to answer this exact question.

(EXPERTS 1-9 have entered and take turns reporting.  Or,
have just two experts and combine the following lines.)

EXPERT 1    Wolf crimes indeed are up.

EXPERT 2    As we just saw, we have houses being blown down.

EXPERT 3    Also, we have heard that wolves are now
.           disguising themselves as grannies.

EXPERT 4    Not only grannies, but also mothers.
.           So please beware, and teach your children
.           about, not only stranger-danger, but also
.           the various tricks that wolves can play.

EXPERT 5    Just recently, a mother goat                   9
.           left her 7 kids at home, warning them
.           not to open the door to anyone.

EXPERT 6    Let me guess.  A wolf tried to convince the kids
.           that he was their mother?

EXPERT 7    He did.  But I heard that the kids
.           wisely kept the door shut.

EXPERT 8    Well, an entire town of people were tricked
,           when a boy named Peter cried wolf.

EXPERT 9    Except that the boy lied, because
.           there was not a wolf to be seen.

EXPERT 10   But then there was.  Lesson learned:
.           wolves are no joking matter.

ANCHOR      No indeed.  We all need to stay alert
.           and take this matter very seriously.
.           Thank you, experts.

OPTION 7

ANCHOR      We now take you to the fairy world of sports,
.           with our very own Jack Sprat and
.           Talking Tulip.

(JACK SPRAT and JACK BE NIMBLE enter.)

JACK S.     Thank you, Merry. Well, it has been a great year
.           for sports.  Jack Be Nimble finally broke
.           the fairy tale land’s record in high jump.

JACK N.     I did!  And not only was it the land’s record,
.           but of course, a personal best for me.

JACK S.     And how do you feel?

JACK N.     How do I feel?  Ah, good!  Really good!
.           Especially considering the fact that I finally
.           jumped high enough not to burn myself.

JACK S.     Have you ever thought of jumping over
.           other things?  Maybe things that would be safer?

JACK N.     Huh! No, I haven’t.  But I think I’m going
.           to try that.  I’m going to try that right now.

JACK S.     That’s ambition and determination for you!    10
.           The heart of a true athlete.  Let’s just hope
.           that his thrill-seeking-mindset becomes
.           a little safer.  Talking Tulip,
.           what’s happening over in Wonderland?

(JACK BE NIMBLE has walked off and JACK SPRAT follows.
TALKING TULIP enters with MAD HATTER, ALICE, RABBIT,
GURU, COOK and CAT.)

TALKING     The Queen of Heart’s Wonderland
.           croquette champion playoffs - continue.
.           Because it never really ends.
.           And no one ever really wins.
.           Tell us, how do you all feel?

(MAD HATTER squeezes his own arm.)

HATTER      I’m not quite sure how I can describe it,
.           really.  Can you tell?
.           (holds out his arm to others)

ALICE       Crazy!  It’s a crazy game that never makes
.           any sense.  

CAT         Maybe if you looked at it from another direction
.           you would see things from another angle.
.           It is all madness, after all.

RABBIT      I’m just happy that the game itself is
.           not timed.  I do not think I could handle that.

GURU        (bowing spiritually)  But who are we?  Hm?
.           It is not the game, but what we bring to it.

COOK        Well, I would bring tarts to the game,
.           if I could.  I certainly work up an appetite
.           while playing.

ALICE       But why do we even bother?  The only point
.           to playing this game is to let the queen win.
.           The queen should not always win.

(QUEEN enters.)

QUEEN       What?  I object!  Off with her head!  GUARDS!
.           Guards?...  Where are they?

HATTER      I say.  I think the queen has finally
.           run out of her deck of cards guards.
.                                                         11
RABBIT      What are we waiting for then?
.           Let’s make a dash for it, while we can!

(ALL rush off stage, being chased by QUEEN.)

TALKING     Looks like the Queen of Heart’s Wonderland
.           croquette champion playoffs may actually
.           be over.  How – sad.  How very sad.

ANCHOR      And how do you feel?

TALKING     I feel– sad.  What am I going
.           to talk about now?

(TALKING TULIP exits sadly.)

ANCHOR      And that was our very own Talking Tulip
.           from Wonderland.

OPTION 8

ANCHOR      Let us now hear the weather report from
.           our weatherperson, Sky Blue.

SKY         Thank you, Merry Wordsworth.  It looks like
.           we may be in for some – weather.
.           The ten day forecast calls for snow.
.           That’s right!  The Snow Queen is in town again.

(PERSON 1-3 walk by and overhear this.)

PERSON 1    Again?  Not again!  She just better not –
.           let it go.  Just let go of letting go.
.           I’m very tired of winter weather.

PERSON 2    Unless you like skating, skiing,
.           or building a snowman.

PERSON 3    We SHOULD just invite her here whenever
.           we want to hold a winter carnival.

SKY         But meanwhile, as you can see...

(As SKY motions to the sky around,
CHICKEN LITTLE runs around in circles yelling.)

CHICKEN     THE SKY IS FALLING!-THE SKY IS FALLING!

(CHICKEN LITTLE exits, still freaked out.)
.                                                         12
SKY         -As you can see and hear, he sky is falling.
.           I still don’t know what that means exactly,
.           but I’m going to get to the bottom of this...
.           from these ducks.

(DUCKS 1- enter in a waddling line, quacking.)

DUCK 1      Chicken Little says the sky is falling.

DUCK 2      And the sky is really big.

DUCK 3      Therefore we think it’s really heavy.

DUCK 4      So we are looking for shelter.

DUCK 5      Because a piece of it already
.           hit Chicken Little on his head.

DUCK 6      Look out!  Look out!  More sky is falling.

(A little acorn drops nearby and the DUCKS quack in fear,
and quickly waddle away.  SKY picks up the acorn to study.)

SKY         I should have known.  This happens every year.
.           Currently with blue skies and the chance
.           of falling acorns, I’m Sky Blue.

ANCHOR      I will remember to bring an umbrella with me.
.           Thank you, Sky Blue.

OPTION 9

ANCHOR      And now, what a lot of you have been
.           waiting for, Sissy Styles with
.           the socialite and fashion news.

SISSY       Thank you, Merry Wordsworth.
.           I’m Sissy Styles,
.           and I’m here to give you the talk of the town,
.           which for today - is - the big event
.           happening right now, the prince’s ball.
.           The prince of Enchantment City has agreed
.           to meet all the single women in the area
.           in hopes to find a potential bride.
.           As you can see, we are here on the red carpet,
.           waiting for all the guests to arrive,
.           and excitement is in the air.
.           Everyone who’s anyone will be here tonight.

(SLEEPING BEAUTY wanders in with arms up, sleepwalking.   13
PRINCE CHARMING follows beside her with a grin,
while trying to keep her on a straight path.  
He holds her back to stop when SISSY addresses them.)

SISSY       And here is the one and only Sleeping Beauty,
.           escorted by Prince Charming.
.           I see that Sleeping Beauty indeed
.           gets her beauty rest whenever she wants to.

CHARMING    Which is pretty much all the time.
.           NOT that she needs it.

SLEEPING    Party bites are top dog
.           but not when the spinning wheel stops.
.           (sudden fright)  Look out for the needle!
.           (calming down again)  Ohhh.

(CHARMING smiles, waves, then escorts SLEEPING BEAUTY away.
BELLE and ex-BEAST enter.)

SISSY       Never a dull moment with her, right?
.           And here we see Belle, and her new husband,
.           the mystery prince, formerly known as the Beast.
.           Rumor has it that he looked a lot different
.           at one point.  So what was the secret?
.           Plastic surgery?

BEAST       External change is one thing.  But
.           a change of heart is the most important thing
.           in life.  This is what broke the spell for me.

BELLE       We have both learned not to focus on
.           one’s looks.  Instead, we ought to work
.           on being beautiful on the inside.  And –
.           as the saying goes, never judge a book
.           by its cover.

SISSY       Beautiful.  Great words of advice.  And –
.           here comes Aladdin and Jasmine.
.           It’s great to see you two together again.
.           What a soap opera you’ve both been through.

JASMINE     If you’re referring to the fact that my father
.           was going to make me to marry a horrible man
.           rather than honor the proposal from Aladdin,
.           only to be kidnapped by the evil Mustapha,
.           because genie lamps had been trickily obtained,
.           then yes! it has been a soap opera.

ALADDIN     Soap operas are not my favorite thing.        14
.           It is nice to get back to normal life,
.           with BOTH genies around to protect us.

SISSY       And here we see the emperor and his wife.
.           For this event, he is actually wearing clothes.
.           Tell us, your excellency, who designed
.           your wardrobe this year?

EMPEROR     Certainly not the designer from last year.
.           That man is now as invisible
.           as his clothes were.

WIFE        (fanning herself)  Oh!  Was that not dreadful!
.           I mean, simply appalling.  But let us
.           not dwell on that.  It is in the past
.           and we shall move on.

SISSY       Now, I almost did not see her, but here comes
.           our dear little Thumbelina now.  Thumbelina,
.           who are you wearing this year?

THUMBELINA  My dress was spun with the finest of silky
.           spider webs and designed by four spiders
.           who are on their way to becoming very famous.
.           And I just want to add, that even though
.           they are spiders, there is no need
.           to fear or hate them.  Unless you are a fly.

SISSY       Fabulous.  Simply fabulous.  And who do I see
.           next on the red carpet, none other than
.           little Red Ridinghood.  Tell us, Red,
.           who designed your stunning cape?

RED         My mother, of course.  And since I am now
.           so well-known for my red capes, she chose
.           to make this one with a crimson taffeta,
.           a special signature piece, just for the ball.

SISSY       Scrumptious.  It looks as scrumptious
.           as those cookies you and your mom make together.
.           And- (looking the other way to see DOROTHY)
.           who can miss those ruby red slippers.
.           One can see those from a mile away.

DOROTHY     Thank you.  I suppose.  Although they’re not
.           as obvious on the red carpet as they are
.           on a yellow brick road.  But, honestly,
.           I’d much rather be here on the red carpet.
.           It’s a lot safer.
.                                                         15
SISSY       I should hope so.  Now, who is this riding up
.           in the fabulous carriage?  The mystery girl,
.           now getting out, is wearing a gorgeous dress
.           and the most stunning pair of shoes.
.           Darling, tell us, wherever did you get those?

CINDERLLA   Oh, I– ah– well– um, that is a mysterious story.
.           It most certainly wasn’t made by little birds.
.           I can tell you that.  (laughing, then serious)
.           But, all I can say is that the shoes
.           are made of glass.

SISSY       Well, I’m sure you’re going to hang on to those
.           for dear life.  Especially as everyone dances
.           the night away at the ball.  Merry Wordsworth,
.           back to you.

ANCHOR      Thank you, Sissy Styles.  And to close out
.           our show, we will stay tuned for a while and
.           enjoy some highlights from inside the ballroom.
.           Have a grand time and stay happily ever after.